This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Iwantmeback 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #70316
     HeasvHeart 
    Participant

    Since I joined this forum I have had lots of great advice and I have been reading up on everything and some things become clearer as time goes on.
    One thing I am unsure of is gaslighting. I read about it and can relate to some points e.g. feeling crazy or like I have a different version of events but here’s my problem… in those moments I feel like ok yeah I got it wrong or ok I did misinterpret that. So, have I been gaslighted so much that I still can’t see it or am I looking for something that isn’t there?
    I hope this makes sense! X

  • #70317
     freedomtochoose 
    Blocked

    It makes total sense to me. I was gaslighted for years and still my ex does it given half a chance despite minimal contact. What you are describing is exactly that horrible feeling when you doubt your own reality.
    It is gaslighting
    all best
    ftc
    x

  • #70318
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi there, if you’re looking at it logically then I don’t think the subject would have been gaslighting but if you remember it differently or have no recollection of the subject, then that’s gaslighting. My oh made me think I’d been sick somewhere in front of lots of people. Because I had been sick, but it was in the bathroom, I began to seriously question where it had happened, why, because he said it with such sincerity and disgust at me letting him and myself down, telling me I couldn’t control myself or how much I drank. unbeknown to him I asked the people involved and they laughed and said I hadn’t done it. He still can’t believe I apologised to them for something I actually hadn’t done. The next time he did it drink was involved again, but he accused me of flirting with someone, I have no recollection of that. I remember talking to the guy in question but there was no flirting involved, next minute im getting my face smashed against the bar and he’s fighting with the guy. I’ve tried so hard over the years to join up the bits but can’t fit in the flirting bit, at all. Has he ever said you’d do something, yet when he’s come home you’ve not done it and he’s went ballistic, that’s because he never asked in the first place. My oh has literally said we do something o ff day and two days later point blank denied we’d agreed to do it or vice versa, we’re not doing something then a few days later is asking why we’re not doing it. Anything that makes you feel you’re going crazy is gaslighting. Hope this helps.
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #70329
     KIP. 
    Participant

    My gaslighting was so bad my psychologist said I was ‘reality testing’. I had to keep asking friends and family if this and that was right/true. So the damage they do by Gaslighting can spill over into our daily life. A lot is common sense when you look back. Why would I deliberately buy the wrong milk to provoke an argument. It simply doesn’t make sense and the fact that Gaslighting always results in them coming off better s another sign. Even now I feel gullible at times when I just accept someone’s statement. Then I think about it and I realise it was a load of rubbish so I tend to ask and ask and ask and ask until things do make sense or I’m proved right. You would be amazed at the amount of people who gaslight or just state ‘facts’ which are simply untrue.

  • #70331
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    It’s so commonplace KIP😔 I dont think the world can ever be viewed quite the same after being with an abusive person. The worst perpetrators are politicians and the media.
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #70332
     KIP. 
    Participant

    I think you’re right. Donald Trump is a prime example. Fake news.

  • #70361
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Aye he’s the biggest public abuser in the world. And now the army recruitment drive too, mind you that’s more manipulation isnt it. It sucks whatever it is.
    💕💕

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