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Hi Ladies,
Its been a while since I have been here, I got out and for a few months things have been not too bad. I hadn’t seen him or had to speak to him. But (detail removed by Moderator) he has started knocking on my door again, emailing, texting. I don’t know what started him off but he acts like nothing bad happened previously. All of it is along the lines of why am I ignoring him, why can’t I be civil.
Its made me question everything again. Why does he make me feel like I made it all up? Like he never alientated me from everyone, like he didn’t track my every move, like I was wrong to be anxious when he decided to move so close to me?
What if I’m the problem? I’m so scared to date again in case it is me and everything is just going to happen again. I honestly don’t know if its him or me anymore. Maybe this was all in my head as he seems to think there is zero problems between us. Yet every time I see him I end up having a small panic and can’t stop shaking. Will it always be like this? What can I do to get past this? -
When suffering from panic attacks because of him, you have to take a huge step back from contact with him. Listen to and protect your body.
He is not forgetting the abuse he’s inflicted on you, he just doesn’t care and feels entitled to start all over again. His next victim probably didn’t work out so he is returning to abuse you.
What helps is going No Contact, do NOT engage in discussions with him, block him absolutely everywhere and be ready to call the police for harassment.
Stand strong and steady 💪, don’t let him enter into your life. Block him out.with no way in he soon will get bored and look for an easier victim. -
Sometimes it’s helpful to imagine your roles reversed.
Your boyfriend has left you, moved away, is blocking your calls. So obviously the only way you can get him to talk things over is to turn up on his doorstep. He has to listen to you, he doesn’t just get to say it’s over, he has to make some effort to meet you half way, give it another go. You both said hurtful things but you’re prepared to forgive and forget and demand that he does the same.
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Contact your local women’s aid. His behaviour is dangerous and shows huge red flags. It’s not you. Abusers leave us feeling crazy and doubting reality. Block him on everything. Any contact brings confusion and is toxic to us. Report his unwanted attention to the police. Don’t reply to him as the police may see it as an argument. It’s not an argument it’s harrassment and stalking. You can ring the national domestic abuse helpline 24/7 for advice
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