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My first post on here, I wanted to go, but felt stuck. I spoke to W/A on live chat and i decided to go and was waiting for a space, finding a space to accommodate us is probing difficult
Now I’m wondering if it’s me? he’s said a few things this week and I honestly didn’t realise how bad i was, but there’s a lot of reasons why i don’t trust him. But is my head f****d as much as he says it is?
Is the daily ongoings normal for him and his Ex cause of the kids? After he spent a (detail removed by moderator) still sleeping with her?It’s all hard to explain without going into detail.
Is up and going the only way I will stop going through it , or if I just carried on and not say anything, control my facial expressions or not go quite when it all goes on.. then would we be ok?
Or maybe if I just told him I won’t want to be with him , would he leave me alone ?I feel so messed up just writing this and it doesn’t even make sense what I’ve wrote 🤦🏻♀️
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Hello Rararara,
Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing what’s going on for you with us.
It’s very common, unfortunately for those living in abusive relationships to second guess themselves and question ‘is it me?’ or ‘is it really that bad?’ Abusers can make us feel as if we are overreacting to the abuse and will even repeatedly blame us for their behaviour, which over time, we begin to believe. It sounds like your partner might be gaslighting you.
You should not have to be constantly monitoring your behaviour or being careful of your facial expressions for fear of your partners reaction. I can hear that the situation is painful for you, you should feel free to express your emotions.
It’s great that you are reaching out for support with things and I’m sure other users will be along soon to welcome you too.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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