Is it me?

[So Unhappy]

I have been so stupid. I split up from my husband and within (detail removed by Moderator) weeks had met my current partner. He started out as a knight in shining armour, everything was wonderful. He made me feel safe and not alone. He was good with my toddler, generous, kind. He said he loved me very quickly. Then his bullying and selfish behaviour started. I didn’t want to see it so turned a blind eye. He lied to me about having been to prison. (Detail removed by Moderator).  He’s turned me away from my best friends and my family. I am completely reliant on him. I was persuaded to sell my house and buy a house with him, away from my family and friends. He constantly tells me the house is a mess and I don’t do enough despite me working 12 hour days. He is moody and unpredictable and I’m genuinely scared of him. We live with my child and his children. I do everything I can for them – cook, clean, iron, homework. Nothing is acknowledged. I’m now pregnant and scared about how he will treat this child and whether I will have it all to do on my own. He has already mentioned about me not returning to work full time. If I challenge him he turns everything round on me, saying I make him feel worthless. I try very hard not to anger him and to do what he wants. I am trapped and there is no escape. I want someone to tell me this isn’t ok. What can I do?

[Bananaboat]

Listen to your inner voice – you don’t need us to tell you it’s wrong, you know it is. The fact you’re here tells you it is. Sadly abusers teach us to ignore that inner voice and to only listen to their voice. And only so they can get what they want.

There’s always hope, I know it doesn’t feel like it but you, your child and your baby deserve help and happiness. Reach out to womansaid chatline, your midwife, keep posting.x

[So Unhappy]

Thank you x

[Apricot]

Hi So Unhappy,

I am so sorry you are going through this. As Bananaboat said – you know this is wrong. Very wrong. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. You and your children deserve to be safe. Reaching out and contacting the WomensAid online chat would be a really good start. You need help and support. Is there anyone you could speak to at work? You say your partner has driven away your friends and family – but could you try contacting them and talking about the situation? They might be very worried about you and eager to help. Your focus now needs to be on getting to safety. For you, your child and your unborn baby. If you have concerns about your partner’s children – a domestic abuse organisation will be able to offer advice and support.

Please keep reaching out and keep posting here. You’ve taken a big step in posting here. Share as much as you need to. Sending love xx

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