Is it me??

[feelingnumb]

Am I the problem? He keeps saying that I’m the problem and I keep turning things round on him and I don’t listen. But I feel he tries and pushes me away all the time and doesn’t listen to me. Accuses me of cheating on him so says he is now going to do the same thing and that I’ve forced him to do this. Says I’ve treated him like s**t and I use him and walk all over him. Calls me horrific names, threatens to expose me to people, threatens to sleep with someone else to even things out, says cause I don’t stay and “talk” and run away that I’m just showing I don’t love him and don’t want to be with him. Why can’t I walk away from this?? I sit at home in tears like I am now and I just take everything that is thrown at me. I’m strong for short periods and then I just crumble. I feel like I’m heading for a breakdown xx

[dustypink]

Hi,
You are not the problem.
What he is saying about you – he is saying about himself, this is how he gets off of his own problems and sins. You are just a rubbish bin for him. Now you are full of his rubbish problems, but he feels happy and full of energy.
This is how it works.

So, just turn the words you wrote he told you – and you will see how it is.

You are a human, you have right not to listen and not to talk if you don’t want to. He has no right to talk to you in such a way.

[feelingnumb]

Thankyou. All my friends say the same and pray that I walk away. I don’t know why I feel so sucked in to him and feel like I can’t get away. We don’t have any ties together so I don’t have to be with him. He just puts so much doubt in my head and I think oh god what if I’m throwing away my soul mate and someone who loves me cause that’s what he says he is. Then the other part of me says but if he loved you he wouldn’t treat you like this and talk to you like this and threaten you so much. I don’t want him to be with anyone else, the thought makes me sick. But then if he loved me he wouldn’t sleep with someone else would he so why am I wasting so much energy and tears on him?? I just want to run away. Xx

[KIP.]

Google Gaslighting, trauma bonding, the cycle of abuse, cognitive dissonance and try to educate yourself on they dynamics of abuse. It’s all psychological. Speak to women’s aid and keep posting and asking questions. You deserve so much more x

[dustypink]

I’ve been in the same feelings as yours about a year ago. Trapped, didn’t understand what to do, didn’t see any exit, I was trying so hard but everything gone worse. When I was broken – he was becoming nice and loving. When I believed something will change and we can be happy – he was becoming demanding, ungappy, criticizing. Then agressive. And the same cycle again.
I’ve started to read books.
There are some really good you could read.
You’ll understand what is happening, and this is very important step, the next one will be to exit.

[feelingnumb]

I’ve blocked him now. I’ve had 48 hours of abusive phone calls and messages. And if I don’t reply in enough time it’s cause I’m with someone else. I’m not going to unblock. I just can’t do this anymore. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Xx

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