- This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 month, 1 week ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
(timeframe removed by Moderator) the first time I was scared I might get hurt by my partner. I’ve been with them for a few years now and no fight has ever got this bad. They were drinking and we’d had some bad news. I said something stupid which they took as I was accusing them of not caring and it all escalated from there.
They threw things across the room and pushed a (item removed by Moderator) towards me and it hit me slightly. They were punching things and I just kept asking them to listen to me as I was trying to explain what I meant and was trying to diffuse the situation.
They called me nasty, insensitive, the c word, b***h, said I just fake empathy, deranged, etc.. they wouldn’t let me get a word in, were yelling over me, and then was twisting what I said even when I was trying to explain myself over and over.
I said that what I said didn’t excuse the violent behaviour and they said it wasn’t violence and I was making a mockery of domestic violence and kept aggressively saying “(line of communication removed by Moderator)” over and over. They said something like women like you are the problem, you call things violence but you don’t know real violence.
I know I shouldn’t have said what I said. I know it was stupid. They kept saying I caused the argument and it’s always me. I feel like it’s all my fault but at the same time I don’t feel like the reaction was warranted but at the same time I know he was just upset. I’m so torn and my brain can’t comprehend this. I love him and I feel terrible.
Is it my fault?
-
No matter what you said, nothing excuses someone who is meant to be your partner and best friend getting aggressive and calling you names. Of course that’s violence and aggression!
How long have you been together? Has anything similar happened before?
This is a huge red flag, bet even after you explained yourself and maybe apologised for what you said, he still didn’t acknowledge what he did, and that it was unacceptable…
Good luck x
-
Thank you for your comment x
Yes I apologised over and over and he was like “(quote removed by Moderator)” even though I was. And he kept saying I was smirking when I was balling my eyes out crying. It was so confusing, like he saw a completely different reality to me. He also lied and said his friends were on a call and commented they were coming off it because they didn’t want to listen to us arguing and then when I asked (timeframe removed by Moderator) he said they weren’t.
We’ve had arguments before where he’s called me horrible things but he’s never been this angry before or thrown things. This was next level scary. I can’t stop thinking about his eyes and voice and the aggressiveness. Things have settled down now and I asked him if he meant what he said and he said at the time he did. He hasn’t apologised for his behaviour but he did say he acted like an animal so I suppose at least there’s that. I honestly don’t think he remembers it properly though as he broke something of his throwing it and last night was asking what happened to it.
I feel like I want to tell him he scared me but I am worried of how it will go down even though things are calm now. He seems to think DV is only hitting your partner rather than throwing things around or pushing stuff.
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
