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    • #145676
      Tobfree
      Participant

      kept telling myself i can do this leave slowly bit by bit whilst gathering my confidence and self esteem and creating a circle of friends and family to support me
      yet after years of abuse of being blamed and critized and mind games and being abused mentally and emotionally and sexually and finacially and being trauma bonded and him attacking me emotionally and psycholigically about the help i give my daughters i have had enough i am leaving and there is no going back
      i dont care if he begs me to stay yet i know he wont as he is cruel and vindictive and enjoys hurting me and making out everything is my fault when in fact its his yet he never takes responsibility for anything
      even in the begining when he was mr nice guy mr knight in shinning armour i should of know it was all love bombing yet i fell for him and belived he was the one and it was all an act as the real him is an abusive piece of —-
      why does this keep happening to me its been nearly every man i have got into a relationship with that turned out to be an abuser i get away from one abuser only to discover further down the line the new man is an abuser too maybe i should just steer clear of men all together
      and the only good man i have ever knew was my dad and how he loved and supported my mum

    • #145677
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      Hi Tobfree

      Its not you, and you have proof there’s at least some decent men out there, or at least one anyway, your father! There are sadly all too many who have this entitled dominator type behaviours, once you are married/pregnant/tied down somehow.

      Take care not to be at risk now you are going. Its safest to go without him knowing, so there can be no scene, arguments, risky escalations to cope with. Go quietly and tell him after if you feel you have to tell him. You could tell the police, so if he calls them they won’t go launching a search party for you! Yeah, wish I’d done that too.

      Good luck with your escape; do you have contact with any DA services that could explain the safest ways of leaving? That would be worth doing if you haven’t already so you can avoid any of the pitfalls at a time of heightened risk for you.

      warmest wishes

      ts

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