22nd January 2024 at 3:24 pm #165457spinosaurusParticipant
I’ve been in this relationship for a little while now and I’ve had a few people mention to me that I’m possibly being mentally or emotionally abused.
We will get into arguments that to me feel like there over nothing, I’ll get gas light by him telling me I’ve said something that I know for a fact I haven’t said and that something else was said. He will then tell me that I gaslight him?
He suffered from depression and has adhd, regularly talks about his suicidal thoughts and a couple times has indicated that I don’t care or support him enough when most of my day is spent listening to him on how he’s feeling. I also have a (detail removed by Moderator) year old to look after at the same time.
Anytime I have to go somewhere wether it’s an appointment or popping to my mums house, he’ll go “well I’ll just go to so and so’s house. It feel a lot of the time he’s trying to keep me from leaving so I stay with him?
He has a weird behaviour towards my child, almost like he’s jealous of him and the amount of attention he gets compared to him?
There’s no help in the house, he’s been living in my house and pays nothing towards anything despite having a well paid job, lives here rent free and grudges me any money towards anything.
I feel really isolated as he doesn’t like any of my friends and says if I go out we have to go out together. And if I do go out alone he’ll make sure to make me feel bad about it.
And if I don’t want to have s*x with him he’ll go in a mood with me? Which I find alarming and strange.
Is any of this classed as abuse? Or am I overthinking it? I have no idea.
22nd January 2024 at 3:32 pm #165458HereforhelpParticipant
He is trying to.control you, the making you feel bad about going to see friends of yours is designed to stop you… the moodiness for saying no to sex is all part of the abuse and is designed to wear you down.
He is living rent free.and taking what he wants… he is an adult and should be contributing not having a free ride … habe you discussed money with him (my husband would go into a.mood or accuse me of all sorts if I dared mention money)..
Your gut/instincts have already spoken, you feel there is something wrong and you are right, trust your gut
20th February 2024 at 10:38 pm #166282Raspberry123Participant
Hi, I really relate to parts of your story. I have also had many suggestions that I am being mentally or emotionally abused by my boyfriend. We also get into arguments daily about something that I f****d up or couldn’t do right. And it’s exhausting. I also relate to the part where he says that I’ve said something that I know for a fact I haven’t and then he’ll try to tell me I’m gaslighting him??
He also suffers from depression and adhd. And says that I don’t care about him and he does everything in the relationship when that’s not true at all.
My boyfriend also insists that we go everywhere together and I can’t go out with my friends without him otherwise he’ll want to break up. I’m really confused by it all as this is my first relationship. I know what I would tell someone else if it were their situation but it’s so hard when it’s me.
It does sound as though your partner is trying to control you. it seems that he wants to isolate you so that you have no one to turn to. It seems really exhausting for you. I hope that you are able to do what’s best for you ❤️
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.