This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Lizziecat 6 days, 21 hours ago.

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  • #111195
     Lizziecat 
    Participant

    The other night my husband saw I had tidied up my home office which included moving some light boxes. I have a (detail removed by moderator) injury from being hit by (detail removed by moderator). I suffer flares which leave me in agony and times where medication leaves it bearable. I have worked so hard to get live a normal a life as possible. I am going through a very nasty lawsuit with the insurers. My husband exploded in a rage out of nowhere as loud as a human possibly could. Clenched fists, spit flying and red face. Stormed up to me and demanded I tell him why  (detail removed by moderator). He told called me all the names under the sun, then told me I was a liar, a fraud and a hypochondriac. I have lied (detail removed by moderator). He doesn’t believe there is a d**n think wrong with me. He used everything he could to hurt me as this is what a chronic pain patient goes through in a case like this. I have all the medical evidence of my injuries. He says I am mentally ill. I asked him calmly to stop before he said anything he could not take back and I got told to F off. He can’t control himself. I looked at this person in a complete rage for no reason looking at me with such contempt and hate and I thought of all the years of this. Something in me lifted and all of a sudden I was looking at a stranger. How have I lived like this all these years. The humiliation, the fear, the bruises, broken ribs. (detail removed by moderator)! I want him out but he won’t go. He has just spent (detail removed by moderator) days pretending I don’t exist. I am angry but also feel frozen and fearful of that first step. I will do it but I know it will be ugly. I feel nothing for him and I have never felt this way before. Has anyone else had their line in the sand

  • #111200
     Mimosa 
    Participant

    Hello!

    Yes there is. For each of us.. Hold that line and defend it in your head because for me, despite a decade plus of trying to leave one thing will tip the balance, you’ll see small scale stuff and blank some out maybe but one day they will go beyond the line for you personally and that’s when you know you have to take action. But plan, seek support and guidance and be safe! Mine was the day he assaulted our son on his head, he was at primary school, we were told not to talk about it. After that I knew I had to get him out. He pushed his way back. Was disgustingly horrible to get revenge. Was arrested. Had a prison sentence and a long term restraining order. He is out now and being extra vile and blaming it all on me but so what! I expected nothing less from him. Plus!he is not here with me and our children. So he then tried family court but Cafcass officer was incredible and saw exactly what he was made of and his games. No contact at all recommended, then he pulled out. Hence he’s poking me with other things but the difference in our children with no contact is amazing and I am slowly healing too.

    Draw the line and hold fast! You can do this. They very seldom change. The Cafcass officer told me 2 out of about 2000 she’s worked with made a shift and worked hard to be better. Mine is not one of them! If he hadn’t hurt my son again but in a more damaging way I would have likely be still in it and our children would be suffering too.

    Hold the line. It’s yours, you have put up a firm boundary again. Dig in, get your resources and supplies and take cover. If you need reinforcements we are here.

    Take care x

  • #111202
     iliketea 
    Participant

    Theres a thread on here about exactly this, i’ll bump it for you. So sorry, its really shocking when you reach it, the line. xx

    • #111204
       Lizziecat 
      Participant

      Thank you for you reply. I am sorry for what you had to go through and for what your children had to suffer. The support on this site has opened up an avenue I didn’t know existed. I have been so ashamed that no one knows what has been going on. My husband is not popular in my family. At time he is charming but equally his is rude and argumentative. He doesn’t treat people with respect. However, not a single person knows what has been going on. I have been feeling so alone. This site has opened my eyes. Thank you.

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