14th January 2022 at 3:39 pm #137098
I was talking to my ex about his past behaviour, and I pointed out that it was not just a momentary lapse of judgement, it was also cruel. He dismissed that idea, but also then he said something like I had no idea how bad it could get.
I laughed it off and asked if that was a threat, and he said that it was not, he just could do much worse things to protect his loved ones. Fair enough, I believe that, but should I see what he said as some veiled threat too, even if he is not fully conscious of it?
14th January 2022 at 8:00 pm #137116DarcyParticipant
Hi beautiful angel,
My short answer to your question is unfortunately YES
These types of men are capable of anything and it all has to start somewhere
As someone who has been physically abused by a man, once they have hit you once it opens up the flood gates and after that it doesn’t even seem a big deal to them to hit you again and again
Don’t wait for that to come like I did before doing something
If you sense he has this in him, he does
You become desensitised to their ways, but the language they use, the manner in which they speak it, their behaviour it is not normal, it is not kind and it is not love
Sending you continued love and support
14th January 2022 at 8:13 pm #137117KIP.Participant
He is fully conscious of it. It’s a threat and it’s designed for you not to take the conversation to places he doesn’t want it to go. He doesn’t want his abuse exposed. Please work on zero contact with him. Use a third party for all communication. He’s showing you his true colours. Believe him.
14th January 2022 at 9:30 pm #137120HereforhelpParticipant
Yes that’s a threat. To me it also sounds like a warning of what is yet to come, as in, he will up his abusive behaviour. Do not underestimate him, he knows exactly what he said to you and to him the threat is intended to make you afraid of him.
Keep safe ❤
14th January 2022 at 10:59 pm #137127WeemebreezeParticipant
I’m sorry to say it was a threat and he’s fully aware of what he’s doing. My ex threatened me with similar and a few weeks later I was violently attacked. Please make sure you’re safe ❤️
15th January 2022 at 8:43 pm #137173
Thank you to all of you. It helps to talk about this and see that it’s not just in my mind, that it does sound like I think it does. I’m not the best at trusting my intuition or mind, sometimes I think it might just be anxiety or fear of change. So you helped clarify this!
15th January 2022 at 10:44 pm #137181HereforhelpParticipant
I hear you with the not trusting your mind/instincts, for me when i was where you are (it is a process) I also didn’t trust my mind or instincts. That was due to years of brainwashing , coercion, manipulation (non of which I was aware of, I just tried harder to be a better wife). It makes you doubt yourself. Keep a journal, it really helped me to see the patterns and realise I was not crazy.
Keep posting ❤
16th January 2022 at 12:38 pm #137213
Yes! I have regretted not keeping a journal during that time because I think it would have helped me see the situation for what it was much sooner and clearer now! So I have recently made an effort to recall all those moments and write about them, as well as to keep a journal now. It really helps me clarify my thoughts.
Thank you <3
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