Is this abuse or am I overreacting?

[Bubbles1582]

I’m new to this and not really sure what to do. I’ve been with my partner for a few years, and I’m not sure if what is happening is classed as abuse.

To begin with my partner was a complete charmer, whisking me off for romantic dates etc. I was young and impressionable. I quickly moved in with him and then he started accusing me of cheating really quickly I brushed it all off and put it down to his busy life. Then he started telling me nasty things about my friends and famil causing me to push them all away until the only person I spoke to was him and my mother on occasion. Then he refused to take me to work and if he did he would come with me and make a big scene when I served males. I left without notice because of this. Then I was trapped with him. When our son came along he became overprotective refused to allow me out with the baby. Then he lost his job and started drinking. I’ve brought my son up pretty mush alone since. Now my partner takes my bank card so I can’t use it. All my tax credits etc go into his bank and I can’t access them. When he has drunk that I have to ask my parents to lend me money, which they don’t get back to fund his drinking. Non of the bills get paid and most of them are in my name. Is this abuse? Please help.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me very much like abuse, he is controlling you financially and with emotional blackmail. I would ring the helpline and get some advice because they really are the best people to help you understand what is happening and to tell you what you can do about it if you are at that point. Sending you hugs.

Just to add you are definitely not over-reacting x

[Bubbles1582]

I’ve never been brave enough to do anything until now. I’m back in contact with my best friend and she has opened my eyes to what’s going on. The helpline. Is it free? Can it be traced on phone bills etc because he checks the bill for unknown numbers etc.

[Anonymous]

http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/helpline-faqs.aspx Have a read of the facts it states on BT it does not show up but if you are with another provider you need to check. If you are in contact with your friend would you be able to go to hers and use her phone or a phonebox? I don’t know how much freedom you have but it is a freephone number. Further down it states that on certain mobile networks it does not show up on your bill but it may cost you. xx

[Bubbles1582]

Thank you, I will ring tomorrow. My friend lives miles away now as my partner made us move so can’t get to her and he keeps money so no phone box but we with BT so I think il ring form home tomorrow while he out. Thank you for listening.

[Author]

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