Is this financial abuse

[Stuckinturmoil]

My husband is abusive with terrible rages. I am reading the Bancroft book and now I am wondering if I have been financially abused slightly too.
My (detail removed by Moderator) gave some money (not life changing but a decent sum) to all their children. This was over a decade ago. At the time I was pregnant so we used it towards a bigger family car. Which was used as the family car. My husband had a decent car. I had gone part time and had also lost earnings due to mat leave. Over a decade later he is causing trouble saying I should pay the money back to him. It’s just so bitter I have given him children. I now work full time I don’t ask him for anything. I used to have to spend hundreds a month on childcare etc. how can he be so mean?

[Alicenotichains]

He is using financial pressure to make you feel stressed and uneasy so yes it is financial abuse. He has no legitimate grounds to demand money back that he chose to spend on a family car…for his own children and pregnant wife. When you work hard and are responsible, it is very stressful when your ex starts making ridiculous financial demands. It causes you to worry- which is exactly his aim. I have had problems with post relationship financial abuse. It’s tough. Keep a diary of the ways in which he is financially abusive and then you can evidence his behaviour should you need to. You can demonstrate a pattern. My ex husband totally withdrew all financial support for the children- we survived despite him which he probably hated. Periodically I get bills with his name on that he has had redirected to my new home address. Bills that have absolutely nothing to do with me, but are demanding money for late payments that he has failed to make. It’s a pain having to phone the companies and explain why that he doesn’t live here and that it’s part of a campaign of financial abuse. I have wasted whole lunch breaks at work trying to sort these things out and then not had anytime to eat. They will abuse you anyway they can- I am sorry this has happened to you- just keep doing the right thing and karma will sort the rest out x sending you a big hug x

[Stuckinturmoil]

Thanks Alicenotichains.
I am sorry you have had to sort so much out. Awful.
The financial abuse is such a small part of the abuse. Luckily I earn my own money and even though we have been together for decades still have my own account that it goes into.

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