Is this Gaslighting?

[Buddy]

Hi , as previously mentioned my husband has thrown things in his temper sporadically and recently hit my dad (detail removed by moderator)
Since then I have been struggling to look at him the same way!
(detail removed by moderator) I said to him , what are we going to do ? We are in a mess! My dad doesn’t want to know you and I am so confused (detail removed by moderator)I feel that he should be doing everything in his power to be making this up to me , but he isn’t !(detail removed by moderator)
I know this sounds like a petty argument but it gets me down as I feel I can never be good enough! Also the fact that he is bringing this up as a problem in our marriage even after everything he has done !! What are your thoughts ? Xx

[Janedoeissad]

Hi Buddy

This is not just some petty argument. Your partner HIT your parent. Worse than that, he’s done nothing about it. I assume your Dad didn’t call the police and have him for assault.

It’s no wonder you see him differently. I’m sure you could normalise and justify his behaviour when it’s happening to you but it’s hard not to see the true reality of the situation when you witness it happening to someone else.

My partner has recently said and done things which have changed my perception of him totally. So I understand how you feel. I’ve decided to start planning how to get out.

You deserve better than someone who treats you and your family this way. You shouldn’t have to bed someone to do the right thing. He shouldn’t have hit anyone and if he did then he should apologise IMMEDIATELY!

You sound like a lovely caring lady. Find someone who is more like yourself.

J x

[Janedoeissad]

Oops that should’ve said beg not bed. 😣

[Buddy]

Thank you Janedoeissad, I can’t seem to xoncentrate on anything at the moment! I think about leaving but then remember all his good points ! Also scared to leave as have two children and he is the main breadwinner !
My dad didn’t press charges as we were in a different country, he would have otherwise!!
What has pushed you into thinking of leaving? Xx

[Confused123]

hey hun

we all have different reasons for leaving and leave when we are ready, i would say call the helpline and talk to them, u need support around u to make a plan, it is a stressful time but the support helps us think clearer. I think u r in right for feeling angry towards him after how he behaved and didnt even apoligize

[Author]

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