Is this normal?

[swimfish]

Hi everyone, I’m brand new to the forum, I was abused for many years in my marriage but I managed to get out and find peace in my own “sanctuary”, I then made a huge mistake and met
another man who I had a relationship for many years, I have successfully got out of that relationship too as unfortunately he could sense my vulnerability as soon as he met me and basically just took advantage of me in every way possible including financially, luckily for me the law has been changed recently and the police now view this as coercive behaviour, I managed to leave my current partner through the help of the police and they spent a long time with me that day explaining to me that none of this was my fault and that I had been manipulated throughout the whole relationship. I’m obviously really glad that I found the strength to break free from this person but I thought I would feel sooo happy to be free! For the last couple of weeks the only place I feel relaxed is in my bedroom,is this normal?

[fizzylem]

You’ve been through the mill then, twice! I’m not suprised you have retreated to your bedroom; I’m the same tbh, I dont like going anywhere, I don’t have the energy and dont want to get caught up with people and the problems this can bring, even the every day normal stuff. I don’t have it in me atm to be sociable or be with friends either really. I do see a freind every now and then though, think it’s needed.

Welcome to the forum, it can be a good source of support and a place to share info.

Guess you just need a bit of time to recover before you can start to rebuild hey.

[Fudgecake]

The only place I feel ok is my bedroom atm.
It’s where I feel safe. X

[swimfish]

Thank you @fizzlem and @Fudgecake for both taking the time to reply to me. I actually feel a little better today and have made it to the living room! I hadn’t really considered the fact that this means I have gone through the same thing twice, in my head I had put the stuff from my marriage in a box in my head and don’t think about it and was just focusing on the 2nd relationship being so bad, that’s given me something to think about the fact that I attract a pattern of the same men. I know that I have done the right thing by leaving my current ex partner and am having zero contact, blocked him everywhere online and blocked him on my landline too. I don’t have any friends to talk with the about as I have always preferred my own company as I was mentally and physically abused when I was a child also. I think I need time to sort of grieve if you know what I mean, I’m definitely finding this forum very supportive even just reading that other people are going through the same things as myself.

[maddog]

Well done for reaching out and making a safe escape. You will find lots of support through your local Women’s Aid, and hopefully the police have given you links to the help and support you need to overcome the horrors. I found Rape Crisis brilliant and their counselling was an eye-opener. We kind of have to re-learn our lives after abuse. There was a programme on TV about refuges and they said at the end that shadows arrive and women leave.

Have you heard of a charity called NAPAC?

You’ll also find lots of information on Youtube (my current obsession).

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