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Hi Stuck in the mud,
I can relate to this very much ! I left just over a year ago but I feel utterly exhausted. I just thought to myself that I’d like to press “pause” for about six months to charge my batteries! I think this feeling is so natural though – we were living in fight or flight mode for so long and had every ounce of energy sucked out of us. One day at a time, step by step, I think we’ll get our energy back. The important thing is to be kind and patient with yourself – allow yourself time to recover . ❤️
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Hi I’m glad it’s not just me , I think back how I was and the stress kept me busy 24/7 now a year on I don’t have that stress to act on , sometimes I want that energy I had but it wasn’t real or healthy it was survival mode x I can allow myself a nap now , it’s so not what I’m used to I’m questioning if it’s part of recovery, it seems part of the process if you have it too x
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You’ve described how it was for me too – if I’m totally honest, without the stress and drama, life can feel a bit “empty” but the most important thing to remember is that we’re safe . That stress that we were used to was so unhealthy and damaging and not sustainable, I think that’s why we’re so tired. It does get better though, just takes time
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This is good to read, I’m only a couple of months out but I still struggle to relax, struggle to focus especially at work (as if I’m waiting for something to happen), and my brain is still processing memories which is exhausting.
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yes, I think your bit that you’re in right now is living the brain patterns and anxiety you learnt with him, still on edge, waiting for someone to jump out at you round any corner, this bit will start to calm down as you start to really see the calm around you, your space for you. You can’t undo all the abuse in one go, bit by bit.
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Bananaboat …it’s a rollercoaster it will feel like that for quite a long time just waiting for something to happen because it always did ! when you finally realise it’s over you feel calm like never before and can learn to relax , the years of emotional exhaustion do take a toll and the recovery is ongoing but the relief and happiness you gain is immense.We’ve all been where you are enjoy the freedom and normality but also expect occasional dips x
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Hi Stuck in the mud,
Yes, I think this is very normal (or, at least, it is what happened to me).
One thing I would say is that you get used to neglecting your health in these situations, so it would be a good idea to check that there isn’t anything else going on, such as an iron deficiency. Otherwise, though, I think it’s just your body finally resting after so much time being on alert. One thing I have found is that it’s important to pay more attention to your energy afterwards. For example, if something triggers you, you need to make sure that you rest. The other things are diet and exercise, which again, you get used to neglecting. I read somewhere that certain foods like fish can help rebuild your brain’s neurological pathways after trauma. Time will help but you can also try some other things like acupuncture, yoga, etc. Taking care of myself helped me to feel more energized. It reminds you to trust yourself again, and that you are worthy of care-taking.
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Yes, you might be developing chronic fatigue your amygdala and limbic system have been working overtime, I’ve known a few people to develop it after continuous trauma (though I would get your symptoms checked out with a dr also) I ended up with chronic fatigue (and fibromyalgia) through all the abuses, or could be just the down time of healing after it all (either way it’s good to cover all bases) tired could be a sign of depression also (it makes sense after everything) or could be just the calm after everything you’ve been through, either way I’m glad managed to break free and stay free from your abuser 🥂🤗🤗
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