Isolation

[Nextchapter]

Me And my boyfriend have been together (detail removed by moderator), and I feel so stupid now but he never spoke to my family, we lived away so he couldn’t meet them – because of flying due to covid. But he would never talk on the phone and then when we moved in he avoided them and friends who called me. I felt so isolated into his life.. and mine were so unimportant. I feel so stupid now after leaving (detail removed by moderator) ago. Has this happened to anyone else? Feeling really down today… :,(

[Ariel]

I feel for you, have you expressed you need to see your family?
My ex moved us to another country and I didn’t have a phone there either. Isolation is horrible. I was lucky that (detail removed by moderator) he wanted to move back to England. I missed my family and lost all my friends, but I guess they weren’t real friends.
Are you still with him, I can’t understand if you left him or you left to be with him and are now isolated xxxx

[Nextchapter]

I am now in another country than him, my things are all still in our home together. But I’ve now realized it’s not right to be isolated from everyone I know and love. And for him to never talk or want to know my life was just unbelievably hard. It’s just hard now to understand it all. It’s like I’ve been living in a bubble of control. It’s just making me down I let it get that way.. also abuse and a lot of mental abuse. So sorry you’ve been in this also. It’s scary how much this happens xxxx

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Nextchapter

i’m glad you have made the break away, and even better back to where you can be close to family and friends who can love and support you close up.

You didn’t ‘let’ him do this, as thats not how abuse works. He has to be in control and wield all the power, you literally don’t get a choice, but its done slowly, like brainwashing, just over and over with increasing toxicity. Like they don’t wallop you on the first date, it builds, and thats their responsibility, never yours. You can’t be responsible for his abuse, you didn’t make him abusive and thats important to know for yourself. Its never about the victim, its about the perpetrator, always.

Look after and prioritise yourself now, you’ve been through a lot and done so well to get out, leave him in your past and dont look back. I do hope you manage to get hold of anything you need to get back, maybe a solicitors letter could insist he return your belongings, a friend could collect them or something.

warmest wishes

ts

[Nextchapter]

Thank you for your reply, means a lot. It’s so hard to feel normal again, I’m really struggling to even remember who I am. X*x

[Author]

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