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You ladies were all so supportive of me last week when I was going through a bit of a rough patch & feeling overwhelmed. I wanted to thank you for your support and share some positive thoughts about a few ways my life has gotten better after leaving my ex:
1) I have so much more confidence in myself. Prior to leaving my ex I don’t think I realized all the ways in which I made myself smaller in order to make him feel like more of a man. From not questioning his decisions about finances to not advocating for my own sexual pleasure within our relationship, there were just so many ways in which I shrunk myself & gave away my power. Since leaving him I feel more confident than I ever have. Surviving that relationship was one of the toughest things I’ve done so now other life challenges seem not as scary to me.
2) I have might have a few bad minutes, or a few bad bad hours, or sometimes bad days here and there, but not bad months and bad years like I did when I was with my ex. When I was with my ex he once gave me the silent treatment for (removed by moderator) months and also barely spoke to the kids during that time. The longer we were together the more frequent the abuse became & the less frequent the good times became. Now that I’ve left, I smile more, laugh more, dance more, daydream more, and enjoy life more. Sometimes I don’t feel so great because of the demands of being a single mom, but the difference is that now I don’t also have to deal with being abused on top of all that.
3) I get to be relaxed at home & I don’t have to walk on eggshells in my own home.
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aw this was lovely to read…just hold on to the fact those hard moments will pass, i don’t know but you but i hold on to who they were at the start and that is actually only a tiny part i saw in comparison to the abuse.
so happy for you 🥰
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Thank you Daffy03!! The hard moments do pass like you said. Also another difference for me is that now when I’m experiencing a hard moment, I have different coping skills that I can use to help me get through the tough times. I didn’t have those before I left my ex. Now I actually have been creating a list a things I can do to help soothe myself when I’m under stress and it really helps to be able to refer to it when I’m not feeling so great. Leaving my ex has taught me so much about myself. Being a single mom is tough but I have absolutely no regrets about leaving my ex. The kids and I are free and there’s no going back !
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Hi SingleMomSurvivor,
Just wanted to also thank you for sharing your experience on how many new, positive aspects you can recognise in your life right now. As you say, leaving an abusive relationship is not easy, so well done for accomplishing this for yourself. You must feel quite proud also.
We always love to hear from the women here, such uplifting and inspiring stories that come with ending the cycle of abuse in relationships.
All the best. Enjoy building the new life you have started and take care. Remember to use your local domestic abuse service if you ever need extra support a long the way.
Lisa
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