It makes sense now

[Brewsandshoes]

Hope this is the right place to post this…

Yesterday I read about the cycle of abuse for the first time. It just makes sense of everything for me.

My partner is currently (last few days…) being perfectly normal, there were suddenly no rages or controlling behaviour. I couldn’t work out what was going on. Then I found the cycle….

Looks like we’re in the honeymoon/calm phase where he is super nice and understanding – but soon things will start to annoy him and we’ll move into the tension phase – and then the full-on emotional abuse (that’s what it is for me) – before we go back to the honeymoon/calm bit again.

Nothing’s changed since yesterday really – but understanding what’s going on has given me a real strength.

[KIP.]

The sad thing is that they never change and the abuse only gets worse but it’s great you are learning his game. Google Gaslighting. That was a real eye opener for me. I thought I was going mad.

[Brewsandshoes]

Thanks KIP. He definitely does gaslight – denies shouting, denies what I witnessed happening.

You’re right – made me think I was going mad.

Thanks too for replying to my new thread. I’m new to the forum – and having somewhere I am heard just makes me want to speak out more and more!!

[lover of no contact]

Hi brewsandshoes,

Google the Power and Control wheel too. Knowledge is Power.

And keep speaking out in this safe place. Your thoughts and feelings help us too. Keeps me in awareness and helps others feel less lonely or at fault.

Abuse thrives on silence.

[Author]

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