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    • #111837
      WIML
      Participant

      Hi I’ve posted on another thread but it was a long one, so thought I would quickly pop this one on top to get your opinion. As mentioned in my other thread my husband has anger issues and can rage at nothing basically, when I tell him to calm down, he’s over reacting etc he responds with ‘oh I would be’ or somehow it’s something that me or the kids have done that have set him off, but one thing he loves to do, is when it’s the time of the month, he loves to say “(detail removed by moderator), cos your on your period you just can’t see it”. Although I know it isn’t me I doubt myself. Does anyone else’s husband / partner use that one?

      Also last year maybe (detail removed by moderator) I got the courage up to speak to the doctor about my mental health as I had been feeling quite down, she prescribed antidepressants and I felt sad and ashamed that it had come to this. The only person that knew about it was him and I asked him not to throw it back in my face and use it as a weapon, because I know that’s what he is like, but low and behold, whenever I raised an issue with him he would say “have you had your pills today”!!! Is it me being sensitive or is this assholey behaviour x

    • #111858
      Beautifulday
      Participant

      You saying about the period was like writing my story! My Husband often says to me “your a nightmare when your on your period”, or I can tell your on your period your horrible, or don’t take it out on me just because your on your period. And the thing is I know I’m not doing or saying anything bad its like he likes saying this? It really upsets me and gets on my nerves

    • #111860
      WIML
      Participant

      Yes I 100% it’s like he thinks he can act a n*****d for free cos it’s obviously my fault cos I’m on my period and everyone knows women are horrible on their period! Ughh

    • #111861
      Lottieblue
      Participant

      I have a better one than that although the detail would be moderated out. My mother-in-law said it to her son, my husband, about me. Got it completely wrong, but suggested I had only been upset about her husband’s (my father-in-law’s) behaviour because…
      Didn’t occur to her that his behaviour might actually have been upsetting, and it wasn’t about periods, more to do with my age.

    • #112052
      Whites1
      Participant

      WIML- Hi I’m new to the forum. Have been taking my time reading all these topics as I think I’m still in the denial stage of whether or not it’s even abuse. I can so relate to the whole time of the month thing, like clock work I’m the moody one and i feel like I constantly get ridiculed for it. I too have the fact that I was on anti depressants after giving birth. He found me rocking in the corner of the bedroom one evening and phoned my doctor. I can never live this down, it is used as a weapon and like he is a hero. He has even gone as far to take my child away from me for (detail removed by moderator) days after an argument because apparently I can’t cope, I’m a mess… blah blah blah. It’s not that I can’t cope with my children, it’s him I cannot cope with.

    • #113531
      Camel
      Participant

      Wow, this has got me angry! Notice how it’s always men who make snide comments about periods. When did you ever hear a woman come out with such cr*p?

      I don’t know about you but I was brought up to see periods as a bit shameful. (They used to put sanitary towels into a paper bag at the checkout!) Add to this the general sh*tty experience of having your period (sweaty, messy, cramps, leaks) and chances are you’re probably not in the best mood. Then to be TOLD by a MAN that they understand menstruation better than you do! If you weren’t raging before, you are now…

      It’s simply another distraction technique though, and we should try not to get drawn in. Say you’ll leave the argument until next week, when you’re no longer bleeding, hysterical and psychotic.

      It’s worrying how many women say their partners use mental health issues as a weapon. Either they’re depressed so can get away with everything. Or you’re depressed and can get away with nothing.

      • #113560
        Walkingonsunshine
        Participant

        I’ve just laughed at this…it’s so true!! I’d never say anything to another woman about her ‘being like that because she’s on a period!’
        Mine would also comment about me ‘being due on’ but he’d also use that excuse form himself “I think I have the male version of p*s” almost like it was an excuse for him once a month to act how he wanted. I’d never even have given it a second thought until now

    • #113553
      Cloudyskys
      Participant

      I also get exactly the same response about my period and for ages I believed it was that that was making me so anxious and angry and in someways it was a relief. I even went so far as believing I had severe p*s. This is definitely not the case. Antidepressants too!! I always get that! I try saying that antidepressants don’t work like that but he carries on the next time. I’m still in the denial phase but definitely getting stronger with research. They don’t have the right to question us about our periods/meds. If this was done by a boy to a girl in high school it would be regarded as bullying.

    • #113569
      Camel
      Participant

      My abuser used to think I had periods to spite him. He’d get all huffy, say ‘you can’t still be on’. For me it was a week when I could put off his demands for sex. But I always felt at fault.

      He was the same if I was ill. We were waiting for a flight and I had a raging fever. There were lots of things he could have done to make me feel more comfortable instead of walking off annoyed. He was gone for hours. In fact, he never brought so much as a cup of tea and an aspirin whenever I was ill. Different story when it was him suffering of course.

    • #113594
      Beautifulday
      Participant

      my H will frequently say “on your period are you? Because your horrible today” or he will tell me I’m on my period when I’m not and ill say “im not why?”
      It really gets on my nerves, its like he can’t understand my low mood and quietness is because he has made me like this 🙁

    • #113683
      SeekingPeace
      Participant

      haha yes. After the point I confronted my husband about his abuse and gave him a second chance because he committed to change, every time I expressed anger it was my hormones and my period must be due. Hmm so not the fact that I’m actually experiencing anger processing all your past and ongoing abuse then?! No it was all turned back on me. Why am I angry? Oh yeah of course it cant be anything other than period related. 🙄
      Looks like a common one ladies!

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