It’s been a while

[Stuck here]

It’s been a while since I’ve posted here. And yes I’m still stuck here. Things were better for a while, but he has started moaning and complaining a lot again. It’s never ending and draining. No matter how much I explain that I’m so exhausted listening to every conversation turn in to a complaint. He brings up a particular incident from years ago. I won’t go in to detail but honestly I did nothing wrong, I know that. But it hurt him deeply and still after all my apologising I still must listen to his sob story. He hates one of my friends, it used to be another but he’s moved on to a different one now. Everything goes back to this person, did I speak to them today, did I text them today, did I see them today, did I tell them about this thing that happened to me. Either I lie and get caught out in which case I’m a horrible person, or, I admit that yes I did these things and here we go on a rant about how much he hates said persons existence. This friend has never done anything on him, in fact they’ve never even spoken and yet im subjected to this tirade against them every day (detail removed by moderator). I’m exhausted listening to it. (Detail removed by moderator) when I left for work, all he could comment was that I was wearing (detail removed by moderator). I’m sorry for my messed up ramblings, I just needed to get it all out somewhere. I’m tired today, I’m tired of apologising for doing nothing wrong.

[Darcy]

Hi beautiful Angel,
Its OK to be tired and to get upset and frustrated with your situation so don’t be to hard on yourself.
You do say though that although things were better for a while they have got worse again … take this as your lesson. This man will never change and when you have been through abuse with him it can never be the same again.
What are your options for leaving?
I would say for now that you can’t keep putting fuel onto the fire so you need to manage what’s going on for your safety and maybe not mention this friend… if they are your true friend they will always be there for you and will understand what you’re going through. Don’t lie to him though as this will just upset him more.
Take sometime to work on your self love and strengthen your self worth … this will make you feel more empowered and able to do something about the situation
Sending you continued love and support
Darcy xx

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi stuck here,
I wanted to let you know I understand. My ex also went through periods of being nice and everything was good but this was only to draw me back in before things got worse.
He seemly hated one of my friends also, at first it was just the odd comment, then over time this became more frequent negative comments and trying to turn me against her. I think he was threatened as she didn’t like him and saw through who he was and stuck by me which I’m very grateful for. He also tried this with other friends, more so the strong independent ones, ones he saw as a threat I guess.
Unfortunately as much as we want to believe these men are good deep down or this is a rough patch or whatever they will not change or get better. Reach out to womans aid, they are very supportive and can tell you your options should you choose to leave. I did, and although it’s tough I’m glad I did. Sending you support and a gentle hug x

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