It's been hard

[honeyuh]

My ex lives in the same town as me, its not that big. I know that even though he’s legally not allowed to go anywhere near me but im still terrified. No law is gonna stop him from getting revenge. I haven’t seen him since he got arrested (detail removed by Moderator) ago and its so hard. I’m terrified to leave my house alone, especially whe going to the places i know he hangs out.
Someone recently told me that he has moved out of the country, which is not very believable as hes a pathological liar. However if he has, I’m so conflicted on how I feel. This stupid police case has been going on for ages and yet I haven’t heard a single thing, so him living his life in a new country all happy makes me so mad! I want to yell and cry and scream because how come he gets a life and I don’t? But also, if hes gone, can’t i go back to my daily life? Knowing he isn’t going to be around to hurt me.
I don’t know how to feel about it but I know I’m overwhelmed. I know that when the case is over I will file for a restraining order, however I’m beginning to lose hope, i feel like nothing is every going to come from this and I brought up all these past memories and emotions up for nothing.

[fizzylem]

Hey Honeyuh, would be great if you could find out if he’s gone for good hey – is this possible someway? I would love that if it were the case for us! Think most the women on this site would too. There are so many injustices aren’t there, not just that he may be living his life somewhere, the how it leaves us feeling inside, the climb back, how it effects our friendships and families and our future relationships, and how we live life now and next.

However, what I’m hearing is that you have reported him, meaning you have done what you needed to do and this took courage. You’re no longer living with this secret, the secret is well and truly out! Nor do you have the daily fear of not knowing what he’ll do next when he turns up. Yes, you fear where is he and could he turn up at anytime now instead, but he is not in your house and he knows he’s not welcome – this is great and a huge step forwards.

Maybe ring womens aid and talk it through? Make sure you’ve done everything possible to protect yourself from here. Sounds like you now need to work out and do everything you can to help yourself feel safe. FL.x

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