It’s escalating

[Janedoeissad]

Today we were out and he asked if I wanted to do a particularly activity. I said I didn’t fancy it. This resulted in him telling me he would beat me if I didn’t find something else for us to do. This is the first time he has threatened me with violence. I was so scared I burst into tears in public.

I’m so sick of this! I need out. There is one opportunity I have as he is going away. But it’s literally a few days away. I can’t do this anymore 😥😪

[SunshineRainflower]

This sounds very worrying, please ring the helpline and your local service. They will help you plan your escape. It is extremely concerning that he is threatening you with violence for not doing what he says. Please put your safety first. You could start preparing by putting important documents and belongings in a bag somewhere he won’t find it. You need to ensure that he doesn’t know that you are planning your escape. Keep posting on here and we can support you through it, I wasn’t living with my abuser but many ladies here were and escaped safely so you can do it too, nobody deserves to live like this.

[Janedoeissad]

I never ever thought he would threaten me. He’s been mad and called me selfish before but never ever threatened me.

This was in public too. We were out of ear shot as I had walked us away to a quieter area. I just feel that if he has the nerve to threaten me in public, what else is he capable of?

I’m in bits. I will call the line again. I had called them once a while ago but things seemed to be getting better (that lovely abuse cycle working it’s magic again).

I definitely do not deserve this!

Thanks for your message. X

[Tiffany]

Jane, I am so sorry. My last months were littered with incidents where I was left crying in public. It was awful. He even punched me on a bus for falling asleep, there were so many potential witnesses, and he managed to convince me that I was the one overreacting and that he had thought it was the only way to wake me. Like sunshine says, get your vital stuff together so you can grab it and run. I had money, underwear, ID etc in my handbag by the door ready to run for the last months I lived with him. And kept my phone and bus pass within reach at all times. Then call the DV helpline. If you can’t find somewhere to move in the timescale to match up with when he is away then I would put your stuff in storage and rent a single room, or stay in a hostel or something until you get sorted. And be ready for the full on charm offensive before he leaves. He will do his best to convince you that you are overreacting and that of course he would never hurt you before he leaves.
Good luck with getting out.
Tiffany

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