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    • #154579

      Hello, my name is Yuyu. Nice to meet you all. I am going through a family abuse in my household since childhood. To limit the abuse, I decided to limit contact with both family abusers in my house, by being polite to them but no longer sharing my personal life details with them (they use this to control me or take over my life and invalidate my decisions). However, as a result they have become very mean. One abuser called my behaviour bad and yelled accusations about my personality and denied all wrongdoing on their behalf. Because I did not shout back, they had nothing to work with and are now completely giving me the silent treatment. The other member of my house is now cold and looks for any opportunity to criticise me whenever I make mistakes around the house, and stomp and slam their way around the place. They stare at me like a hawk, looking ready to find any justification to eventually blow their top at me. (I am pretty clumsy you see so I can’t avoid mistakes like forgetting things or dropping water).

      It really blows. I hate my house.

    • #154580

      I can always tell when one is going to explode, as for the other now that they have exploded they will likely ignore me unless i beg and say sorry, which i cannot do.

    • #154599
      Main Moderator

      Hi yuyu,

      Understandably you are struggling to live in such an environment within the family home.

      Perhaps talk with your local domestic abuse service to discuss what is happening for you . They can provide both emotional and practical help and advice. They are also a free service, so use them as you need.

      Take care,


      • #154689

        Thank you very much for the advice. I contacted the abuse helpline on text chat mode and it was helpful, thank you for the good advice. At the moment, they are back on the ‘being nice’ part of the abuse cycle again so I can finally breathe. But yeah it sucks. I will keep this advice in mind.

    • #154624
      lover of no contact

      Hi Yuyu,
      Welcome to the Forum. It is great you see what is going on but it is very hard to deal with abusive behaviour coming from one person or parent let alone two. You are obviously such a strong person to have survived living with so much abusive behaviours all through your childhood until now. I too grew up with a mother who was abusive to not only me but my father also. So at least I had one normal loving father even though he was badly affected by the abuse but at least he did not join my mother in abusing me. However my brother to escape my mothers abuse joined her in her abusive behaviours. I’m just sharing my experience so you feel a little less alone. At this stage in my life I see that people who chose to abuse are very common. I would keep reading the posts on here and posting as you are doing and you will become even stronger and you will gain knowledge and knowledge is Power. You can’t change the 2 people that you live with who are abusing you but you can surround yourself with as many supports as you can💕

      • #154688

        Thank you very much for the kind words and helpful support. I am sorry to hear about your situation as well and I hope you are okay. I agree a lot with your advice, I don’t have a support network but I contact helplines on the bad days

    • #159961

      Hi yuyu, well
      Done for reaching out for support, I grew up in a household just like this and ran straight into the arms of a very violent man that forced me to do things i am still living with them I moved onto have a loving family of my own but ended up being abused at the hands of my husband sadly which I am
      Now out of, I am only just addressing the first abusive relationship (through counselling) and the abuse, neglect and mistreatment I received as a child and I think it’s marvellous you are addressing this now, please stay strong and know you deserve better and look after yourself, please educate yourself on abuse and boundaries and build up your strength and self worth and once you escape this situation please keep your boundaries in place, you deserve it and you can have a good life, there are too many nice people in the world to be dealing with abusers and I wished someone would have said to me what I’m saying to you now many many years ago, I hope this message reaches you and that your future is free from further pain

    • #161885
      Mom of two

      Wondering if you have an option to leave the home? You are not forced to stay n such a toxic environment.

      • #163217

        Thank you I am really sorry to hear about your situation but I am glad you are doing better now

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