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I took my partner back after he was very emotionally abusive to me in the beginning and made my mental health problems worse. I suffer with crippling anxiety and depression but I still want to be in a relationship because I don’t feel like that should stop me. Despite his anger problems and various issues that he has, I care about him and want to make things work with him. We agreed to be more understanding of each other and that things would change. I recently had a break down because of my anxiety and agoraphobia and was advised by my mental health team not to visit busy places anymore until my therapy begins. I told my partner this and asked him if he would be able to cope with not going many places for the time being and he said yes that was fine (I should point out that he encouraged me to contact the mental health team because he was so concerned.)
He has stuck to his word this week and been very supportive and understanding…until today. It’s Sunday and there isn’t much to do on a Sunday anyway. I asked him if he would like to go out somewhere for a while and then come back and chill in the house for the rest of the night. He refused, saying he didn’t want to be “stuck in the house” and wanted to be “out doing something on his day off.” I explained to him that I was very restricted with what I can do, and explained that I was trying to compromise with him. He told me he wanted to go out for the full day, he didn’t want to be in the house. I felt confused, I had already tried compromising with him and he knows my limitations so why wasn’t he being understanding? I began getting upset because I didn’t understand the sudden change in his attitude and he hung up the phone on me as soon as I started crying. He said he didn’t want to hear me cry on the end of the phone and every time I tried to speak he said he couldn’t understand what I was saying because I was crying. Every time I tried to call back he ended the call and cut me off. He eventually sent me a message saying that he would come and see me but he wants to go to a pub for a drink and food. As crazy as it might sound, something like that is a big deal for me. I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable doing it and he said “if you’re not going to do what I want to do, I’m not going to do what you want to do.” So now I have to go this pub because if I don’t I’ll feel like I’m basically being selfish. Is this abuse or am I the one in the wrong? -
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To shut you out and ignore you is classed as emotional abuse.
He is withdrawing from you to increase your anxiety levels to the point where you will cave in and do as he wants.
Are you receiving any support for your mental health issues outside of your relationship?
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