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    • #19155
      betterdays
      Participant

      And mentally draining with all you have been through and what u are left with. It hurts me to think he’s gone round telling everyone including the drop outside at his local pub that I’m a psycho rather than admit fault he will still be thinking it’s early days and I’m goung to give in. Little does he know I’ve changed my number he won’t care anyhow x

    • #19174
      Starmoon
      Participant

      I’m sure my ex has fed anyone who will listen a pack of lies. It makes me sick that he’s denied everything he’s done to me.

    • #19177

      Dear Betterdays, you must not worry about the gossip he spreads, think about the fact your integrity is intact. His fate will come, you reap what you sow…
      My husband tries to speak about me as if I too were a psycho, but I am not and I know it. I am now able to see the effects his behaviour has on me and I gain strength each day, each time I manage to ignore him or become more clever than him.
      Try to look past all of this now to focus your energy and strength on you and your kids, they need you more than ever. I know how hard it must be for you now because of the situation you face.
      But try really hard to concentrate on rebuilding, not him. Show strength via ignorance of him. Grow the person you are, you have plenty to offer, and find a way to appreciate special little moments if you can. I do that when I drink a cuppa and the sun is shining, or I see a bird, or I manage to have a nice smile from my kids, when the day came and went and I didn’t see him at all, all these little things are gold to me. And when the going still gets tough, keep going. We have no other choice but to rebuild, and we can stick a proud finger in the air for all the little things we manage to achieve among the turmoil they left us in.
      Be stronger than your enemy, they hate that! 😉
      Glad you changed your number, it’s a good sign for you, don’t be tempted to read his texts, hear his voicemail, or anything else…you know what he would be playing at, so beat him at his game, he is not clever enough to get it.

    • #19178

      Dear Betterdays, try not to worry or think about this, it will only make you sad and depressed. He is venting and blaming as that is what they do to make themselves feel better. You have been the one to take the brave step of ending it (have you? i’m sorry i’m behind on posts at the moment). This is a monumental achievement if you have done that. Whereas he will be left with little apart from being angry and bitter. It will really help you if you are aware of what is in store post break up, it is mentally extrememly challenging. My ex did not bother with me, dropped me like a ton of bricks, so i did not have to put up with approaches, confrontation etc. If you want rid of him there are ways and means, please stay conscious of the challenges it will present though as these can trip you up. We are thinking of you BD. X*X

    • #19179
      Serenity
      Participant

      I try to think of it like this:

      Whatever comes out of his mouth only shows him up for who he really is.

      Play the long game. Let him spout whatever he wants. Sit back and let him expose himself for who he is to these people. You don’t have to do anything: just sit back and watch him do it X

    • #19181
      betterdays
      Participant

      Thanks everyone for your feedback. I’ve been out of it not far of a year now but I did myself no favours having blips. But I’ve reached out for as much support as I can and am growing stronger he’s a waster. Trying to stay positive I’ve got my freedom today my 3rd time of signing up and my intense counselling when I’m sorted out I want to help others x

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