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I haven’t made contact with him since the police questioned him a few weeks ago. I miss him so much and it seems to be getting harder every day not easier. I was on holiday for a week there with friends and I just craved him every day. If anything I’ve started to put the abuse to the back of my mind and all the good times are coming to the forefront. I am so very close to texting him and have been for the past week. To tell him how much u still love him etc. He’s like an addiction to me and even though I know he can be a bit very nice person I still want him in my life. I am busy with my work and activities outside of work but nothing makes me feel truly alive as when I was with him doing the things we both loved. It is so sad because our relationship could have been amazing but it wasn’t enough for him, probably because he was used to chaos in his life drinking alcohol all the time and then I help him get sober and listen to him for months on end.
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Hello PeaceThroughHealing,
I am so sorry you feel so sad. This is a time of grieving for you but you have made the right decision. I read somewhere and also experienced traumatic flashbacks but not of the abuse- I couldn’t remember that- my memory went all fuzzy. I was haunted by flashes of the good times- it was absolutely awful. I used to ache physically to speak to him, I used to worry that he was in toriuke and needed me. I broke no contact a few times only for the abuse to shortly resume. It is hard to break the cycle. Only with time and sticking to no contact did the flashbacks subside. I never thought I would find peace, the PTSD affected me in so many ways- but by far the hardest were the unwanted flashbacks of our “happier” times- which I now realise weren’t that happy. I hope that you eventually reach the peace of mind that you deserve. You will get there x*x
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