This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Letsgetout 5 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #72024
     Letsgetout 
    Participant

    Hi all so much to say but hard to remember it all really, all I know is how I feel. Tired and like I have been wrung out to dry.
    Here is my story so far.
    I left the house before Christmas as he kept picking on my (detail removed by moderator) son left him for 3 weeks and then finished it on new years day. Sorry to say three days after I rang pleading for forgiveness. I felt so lost and helpless without him the pain was so bad.
    He did not want me back as I was a n****r and mentally unstable for his children. So I agreed I was and said how sorry I was. He did not want to mix the children together anymore as a family and now we just see each other without the children. I go backwards and forwards to our joint home that he is living in on his own and his children when he has them. Its crazy as he still has a go at me and blames me over the phone and through texts. Anyway he drinks and now he has decided he is going to give up the drink loose weight. I am panicking why is he stopping the drink now, is he going to change, is this all part of hurting me as he knows I did not like him drinking, is he slimming down to meet somebody else, have sex with somebody else to hurt me so bad. As we are still in some sort of relationship but without the children. WHAT IS HIS GAME NOW !!
    I want to say why cant you just be normal and see I can help you. I get so upset cross and angry. If I do disappear I don’t want to be on my own. I want him to be the man at the beginning the lovely man forever. I feel I have destroyed how relationship as a big family but how could of I just got my son out as he would not leave him alone. Its all such a head mess.

  • #72027
     KIP. 
    Participant

    He’s just continuing to abuse you. He knows all your weaknesses and he will exploit them to hurt you. And he enjoys it. The lovely man you met in the beginning does not exist. It was a fake person to trap you and hook you in. The pain will continue until you go zero contact. My ex deliberately brought another woman into things. It’s called triangulation. It’s designed to make you suffer and to regain control over you. Don’t play his game any longer. It will ruin your mental health.

  • #72063
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    Hi there, that’s the truth right there, it’s one big game to them. He’s still abusing you. Keep posting, keep reading others posts. You are away from him, don’t let him suck you back in, because three abuse well get worse. You’re missing three nice him, he only existed to entrap you. Threes nasty him, that’s who he really is. You only get to see nice him, when he thinks he’s loitering control. You say he’s still shouting at you and abusing you over texts. Keep those as proof. Have you managed to contact anyone at WA yet. The national helpline can be very busy, you could try your local one. It’s very hard accepting the man we fell for is this horrible monster, at times It’s like things were in the beginning. But it never lasts. A cutting remark here, a sly dig there. Somedays it never lets up, then he seems to realise you’re near the end of the line, so he’ll start being so nice and helpful and thoughtful again. The minute you let your guard down, bam, he’ll pounce, and Mr nasty is back. Name calling, body shaming its all part of abuse. Tanks care, learn as much as you can to give you the strength to give him up. It’s like an addiction, that has to be broken.
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #72117
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    Unfortunately this is such a familiar chain of events. it hurts because your feeling rejected but your also trauma bonded to this guy, its the same as conditioning. This phase really sucks because you crave your abusers attention, you hope he will change and you hope seeing him will comfort you. It wont.It will bring you more emotional injury. The best way to feel comforted is through therapy, friends, family,go for walks stay active and start to pamper yourself. even if its time alone, somewhere that calms you. Seek help from womens aid, your GP, come on the forum. Your abuser is the person that you cant trust for an honest opinion, or honest support. Its really hard to believe that that ship has sailed,but do you believe that when one door closes another opens? Keep your beliefs strong in your heart, know who you are when you remember all the good times in your life, the good people youve come across. this will get better it did for the women on here and you will be the same 🙂 luv diy mum xx

  • #73236
     Letsgetout 
    Participant

    Hi all not been on here a while. I am starting to see this slowly but I have also realised I am in dental. I have predicted him texts what I going to receive next and I am always correct I have read so much about this mental abuse rubbish and I’m getting very angry. I am still not living with him any more and I have got my kids out they are not his thank god he hates my (detail removed by moderator) We have agreed to see each other without the kids but being away like this and going back to see him in our house we bough together is odd. I’m getting better but I just cant completely leave yet as I like the bad boy feel of him, and I have a big fear of being on my own and how will I ever meet anybody else in life as I am (detail removed by moderator)
    I have no home, now on universal credits trying to find a job. He bleed me dry. I sometimes think is this real or is it me I can be hard work at times and difficult to live with. I have been ill for a lot of my life which has mentally messed me up and when I meet him a month later I got cancer. He was not nice then really. Its all a big blur but I cant be alone in my life. I’m trying to look for a house with hurts so bad as deep down I want him so bad but I have to tell myself he was never real. I have not found the man yet or I would not be on here. I think. sorry all life is a mess. xx

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