It’s spiralling

[Headcook]

In from work no time at all
All I did was ask how partners nite out went got snarled at and made to feel stupid like I didn’t no what I was talking about
He threw a plate at me which hit me and told me to get out the house
I said to him this is assault what you are doing to me you only do this to me not your boss not your friends just me he said call the police then but you have no proof
I left house as he practically threw me out the door
Sat in car for ages cold and angry and upset
Have had to come back as nowhere else to go rite now
Hate myself for enduring this it all feels utterly useless I feel worthless

Hc

[Anonymous]

You’ve been assaulted. Call the police. It’s for them to decide what proof there is, not him.

Call Women’s Aid ASAP. You need to get out of there safely.

I’ve been where you are.

We’re here for you x

[KIP.]

I agree. Call the police. He needs to know there are consequences. Or rent a room off someone locally until you get on your feet. Let them pay the bills and get on with it x

[Headcook]

He will wriggle out of it then it will be worse, had it before police don’t see it in my experiences
His word against mine
And I’m struggling with is it even assault
Plate was thrown at my back so I could not jump out the way I’m thinking this is a very low move from him

I’m pathetic

[Dancemama]

You are not pathetic lovely.
You have been assaulted.
Call the police so there is a log . I know it’s hard and you say it will get worse. But it may get worse regardless.
At least you can take action now and I promise you will feel stronger in time.

No-one has a right to physically hurt you. Please call the police and start to take action against this bully.

[HunkyDory]

You’re not pathetic HC but you really do need to get out of that toxic and dangerous environment. What you are putting up with no wonder you feel down. Please try the police again. You have been assaulted- what if the plate hit your head? Eye? Knocked your teeth out? Don’t wait for next time please get out and let them get on with their sad toxic lives without you. You deserve better xx

[Headcook]

How can throwing a plate be classed as assault even if it was done from behind
Like the night before it was a cushion thrown and hit my head
Is that assault too

So messed up

[KIP.]

If he had thrown a punch from behind it’s the same thing. If he throws a cushion and it’s to hurt you it’s the same thing. He’s controlling you through aggression. Let the police decide but you need to get yourself out of there. He’s not a baby anymore and he’s not your responsibility x

[Headcook]

So is spitting at me assault also

[KIP.]

Absolutely. Imagine a stranger doing those things to you. If a stranger spat on you or hit you with a plate, or threatened you. It’s the same thing. Just because he’s your son makes no difference in law so imagine a stranger doing these things. You’d definitely call the police.

[HunkyDory]

Spitting at someone, anyone is absolutely vile but at you?? He needs to see this disgusting behavior won’t be tolerated because it will just get worse! He’s pushing the boundary further and further. Please get some help to move out. I really hope you will HC x*x

[Headcook]

He is vile
God knows how it came to this
He clearly hates me
I have application in at council and weirdly my doctors surgery phoned me yesterday when I was sat in my car asking how things are going with council and at house I told them of the incident that was happening there and then they said they will chase up for me as things are escalating
Controlling me with aggression sums it up
In now from work he behaving like it never happened
He makes me feel physically sick

Hc

[KIP.]

It’s that behaviour that makes us feel crazy. How can someone treat us so badly and then act like either it didn’t happen, or act all wonderful or blame us for it. Mind blowing crazy making behaviour x you’re right that it’s escalating, it always does. I would think before long he will leave you no choice but to ring the police if you stay x make it your priority to move out in the new year, even if it’s just renting a room off someone locally x

[Headcook]

She’s in tonight else it would prob still be continuing
He had a subtle dig earlier as I never ate the meal he cooked last nite due to his behaviour I just left it on the side this morning
He said you don’t need dinner tonight your meal is still out there then laughed
Innocent comment to many
I just glared at him and said I would rather throw up
Crazy making I remember it well but realistically it’s never stopped pretty much my whole life with one person or another
Will be forced to call police eventually yes that or just blast this out the water and get this miserable life over by telling partner all !!
That will really put and end to this

Hc

[HunkyDory]

But isn’t she also abusive HC? Be careful, it could be dangerous to escalate things yourself. I know it’s hard you must be furious inside but you must think of your own safety xx

[Headcook]

I think yes she is the same as him
She is passive aggressive he is aggressive
Really don’t care right now about it being dangerous blowing lid as am so insulted by the pair of them and it would put an end to this have always said this won’t end well
Have said to son you should feel bad as have had no mention of his behaviour his reply yes I do feel bad but it keeps happening
Wow
If that’s not the reply of an abuser I don’t no what is !!
I’m ashamed he is my son

Hc

[diymum@1]

I’d say there is the option to record his behaviour with proof you can stop this xx keep a diary and if you think he’s going to do something else record it. On your phone. Needs must I know it’s hard but if you tolerate this now it will just go on and on xx you can’t risk this getting any worse xx he has to face a consequence- you wouldn’t believe the scale off patent abuse it’s huge xx

[diymum@1]

I’d say there is the option to record his behaviour with proof you can stop this xx keep a diary and if you think he’s going to do something else record it. On your phone. Needs must I know it’s hard but if you tolerate this now it will just go on and on xx you can’t risk this getting any worse xx he has to face a consequence- you wouldn’t believe the scale off parent abuse it’s huge xx I know a police handler and she takes calls everyday re this xx

[Headcook]

Years and years he has done this and this takes me rite back to me saying this is my fault
All faults lie with me
Brought him up single handed useless father all he did was shout or offer to fight it out
Alcoholic grandparent whom he saw verbally abuse me and forever let us down
An uncle my brother popped up occasionally all he could say was what the hell is wrong with him
No one helped or supported me just the finger of blame put upon me
I fought with this all alone
I asked the wrong people for help I asked the ones that abused us some more

Hc

[Author]

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