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So I haven’t posted in ages. I have started receiving help from my local domestic abuse help people (don’t really know what they are called haha). We have only spoken a few times and are just scratching on the surface of what is going on. They have classed me as high risk.
Things have been escalating the past month and I’ve put my self well and truest in the firing line with my husband so that our son doesn’t receive the bad treatment (shouting, swearing, in the past slapping when hubby has deemed him as ‘naughty’). This has meant I am breaking. I have severe mental health problems and these things that I’m enduring day in day out are going to kill me.
I spoke to my mental health care coordinator and said I think it’s time and suggested i May right.
I am so unbelievably scared (words don’t do it justice how petrified I am) but I need to do this for the happiness of our son and myself.
What are people’s experiences with leaving an abusive relationship? The not knowing what is going to happen is overwhelming me right now.
I have no friends, I mean I have nobody, my parents are not supportive at all, I don’t drive, I rent with hubby currently and I have absolutely no money.
What is likely to happen to me and my son? -
your going to need lots of support especially from WA your son can go to group work with then to help him. it is the hardest thing but the right thing to do. you might pine for him, feel a little lost and probably anxious – this is natural and i can only advise to ride the feelings through(its trauma bonding) so treat it like an addiction- stay well away from him – come on here, take a soothing bath, try to ground yourself by maybe using mindfulness – therapy would be a good idea – go to see your gp. its important to see the big over all picture which you might not be able to right now but we can. this will ease (especially if you go no contact with him) and sort out child visits through a third party.youll inevitably make new friends- rebuild your life – you might meet the love of your life in time! a good guy but of course its going to take time for you to love yourself again. you have your little son there so your no on your own xxxx
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WA and the other agencies will help you with sorting out finances, and to claim what you’re entitled to. Don’t feel bad about claiming, it is your entitlement, Get everything you can. It takes a fair bit of budgeting at first, but they’ll help with that too.
They’ll help you to find a little place of your own together, and help you to be safe there.
They will keep in contact with you, and you’ll have allocated people to speak to, and who will help you with specific things.
It will be worth it.
Because you’ll be free, more relaxed and happier, in time you’ll find yourself going to events in the community, making friends, doing things for yourself and your son. Having fun, smiling and laughing together.
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Hi, good to read you’re leaving! I would say one of the key emotional problems women face is leaving and never looking back, I forget the exact stats but I think it’s around 7 times a woman leaves before she is successful; the pain of the loss can feel too much to bare. We want to believe he is the loving man we thought he was, not the cruel, violent abusive one we really know; we want to belive that change is possible; therefore part of the process is to let go of the hope he will change – we accept this and by doing so can step forwards.
Decide you have drawn a line – this is what will serve you best. Good luck, sounds like you’re doing all the right things. I wish you well x
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