I’ve been compromised

[Anonymous]

A friend who I thought I could trust told her partner things Ive said to her about my relationship and her partner went told mine. He confronted me and asked me what I’ve said to her and questioned me on some things her been told. I can’t believe this has happened. She knows everything. She knows I’ve been trying to plan an escape, she knows I’ve recorded things, she knows I’m contacting organisations. She knows about it all and now I don’t know how much she has said to her partner. I don’t know what to do I am terrified now. He’s told me I can’t talk to her anymore or see her. I am scared he will find out more. I don’t know if I should ask her what she has said and if I should confront her or it will make it worse. I can’t believe the one person I’ve told this to after so many years has done this. I can’t believe her partner has gone and told him I’ve been speaking about him. What do I do? I’m so scared he will find out everything.

[Twisted Sister]

Hello Icantdothisanymoree

This is always risky isn’t it, and takes a huge amount of trust to share something so hinging it’s success on everything remaining secret. I guess there was always a chance she was going to talk about it with her partner, and always the chance that he would speak to your partner about it.

I am more perturbed about her partner’s intentions in telling your partner what you’ve told his. I think that’s worrying. Clearly there’s confidentiality around what you’ve said, that she’s shared with her partner. Her partner will absolutely know this. For him to talk to your partner about what you’ve shared, is frankly alarming. I can’t imagine that your friend has told her partner thinking he would speak to yours!

Do you have any way of contacting her again now he’s told you that you can’t? How will you be able to check in with her and let her know that her partner has spoken to yours and revealed some of your private conversations with her? She needs to know this, as it should ring alarm bells for her also.

I can only imagine at your state of anxiety, but your partner may be trying to test you, so try to take stock fully before imagining the worst. He may have said something in passing that has made your partner think you are sharing stuff?

I would also take comfort from the fact that he’s asking you what you have told her, because he would tell you and confront you about the worst if he knew the worst wouldn’t he? Assume nothing until you speak with her. Make contact, if you can, but meet up so that he can’t read phone messsages, etc.

It may have been your partner questioning her partner, and he’s only been told brief stuff, that you do talk to his partner about when you have relationship problems or something like that, and the fact that he’s not told you any of the details, I would have to assume means that he doesn’t know any more. I do hope that’s the case, and that your friend has been safe to share with. Of the three of them, your partner is the biggest suspect in this?

warmest wishes

ts

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