To my other house which I’m putting up for sale soon my heart melts the good times bad times all the work that he did in it for a reason of course I wanna die it’s killing me inside thinking I might have split my family up x
You did nothing wrong. If anyone split your family it was him. As one door closes, another opens. Try thinking of it as a fresh new start. Untainted by his abuse. I’m still in the marital home and if I could sell and move then I would. He’s making things impossible so I’m not rushing into giving in to his demands. Take a deep breath.
Write a list of all the bad things he did, then the apparent good. it will become clear that the bad far outweighed the good.
He could have built the conservatory and not been horrible! They all do nice things at times- who knows why, maybe to keep us, but the nasty moments make it not worth hanging out for the good moments. Those nasty moments destroy us, so we might be in a nice house, but our heart is breaking.
I look around my house now and see some things he did, mostly when we first moved here. Was he ensuing in doing those things? I don’t know. All I know is that, in between doing those things, he was cruel and abusive.
The cycle is dreadful to live with. It ruins your health.