Write a list of all the bad things he did, then the apparent good. it will become clear that the bad far outweighed the good.
He could have built the conservatory and not been horrible! They all do nice things at times- who knows why, maybe to keep us, but the nasty moments make it not worth hanging out for the good moments. Those nasty moments destroy us, so we might be in a nice house, but our heart is breaking.
I look around my house now and see some things he did, mostly when we first moved here. Was he ensuing in doing those things? I don’t know. All I know is that, in between doing those things, he was cruel and abusive.
The cycle is dreadful to live with. It ruins your health.