- This topic has 7 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 7 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
I’ve left. Thank you all so much for your advice. There is no way I would be out now without it, and certainly not so clearly for good. The sense of calm and peace is starting to settle.
He is trying to control me through the children now, I think, but I’m finding it difficult to tell. I knew most of his regular patterns of control etc but everything has changed so the patterns are all new. How can I distinguish genuine concern and thoughts for the children from efforts to control? We are only in contact via email.
-
Did he have genuine concern for the children when you were together? He’s still the same man. Still the same toxic abuser. Get an agreed visitation in a legal format and only have contact around that. His focus should be purely around access. He knows you’re a good mum and should have zero concerns for his children apart from being a good positive part in their life. Any questions about you and what you’re doing are inappropriate. Just think how you would behave regarding children. You would want positive regular contact and minimum drama and upset. Let’s see if he follows that x
-
Well done, for leaving!!!! I am sou proud of you 🙂 And I am happy to hear that you are starting to feel more at peace.
It’s hard that you still have to have contact with him. I hope some other ladies can share their advise from their experience.
I would be surprised though if he did not try to control you at all, as they don’t easily accept us leaving them. I just want to wish you all the strength now. You have made a very important step towards a better life for you and your children. -
Cheers from me too Starla!!! Such wonderful news. It’s so hard to do and to have done it is such an achievement!
Ahhh! The peace and calm is wonderful feeling. Be sure to keep it that way, and KIP is very clear about how to keep it that way, he’s not suddenly changed his spots as in the proverbial leopard. He is the same man, if he feels to be different to you its merely a swap around in his tactics. You know what he’s capable of, nothing changes that. Hold firm, get your boundaries in place by offering dates and times that you see are safe and reasonable only.
That’s all, nothing else you have to keep except enjoy your freedom love! You deserve it.
Warmest wishes ts
-
-
-
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
