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(detail removed by Moderator), I put on the skirt with the largest pockets I have, slipped my medication and a spare pair of knicks into a pocket, went to my therapist as planned and then rang a friend. I am currently sitting on friend’s sofa, having a blissful evening on my own while she is out.
I am feeling a bit wobbly, but my main emotion is shock at how little I care about how my husband is coping. He has just ground me down so much that I have no energy to spare. No idea what will happen next, but it can’t be worse than continuing as we were.
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I went back.
I did not take all my drugs with me and it was difficult getting more as I had picked up 2 months’ worth the day before I left. Making an appointment with the doctor seemed one task too many, so I asked if I could go back to the flat to pick up more stuff. He agreed but only on condition that we met up first.Long story short, I was surprised at how quickly things went straight back to how they had been and it became clear that he had no intention of keeping the promises he made, especially that we would go to couples counselling.
So, here I am again having a nice quiet evening in on a friend’s sofa. This time I am being helped by my local domestic abuse support people and they are being amazing. It was a shock but also very validating to be told that I was at high risk because he is so controlling, although very rarely physically violent. Unfortunately the CPS did not agree and he was released without charge, but it had never occurred to me that he would be arrested (and it clearly hadn’t occurred to him either). The police were absolutely wonderful and, again, it was very affirming to be told that his actions were criminal.
So, I know that, whatever happens, I must not see him again; if I do, he will manipulate me into going back. I am so grateful that, after being disappointed a couple of months ago, my friends are standing by me again.
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Well done and keep strong.
I myself have left, I left (detail removed by moderator) ago and after 4 went back after lots of mithering and then not even 2 weeks after was screamed at and scared so I left again and am currently staying with (detail removed by moderator).
I had a lot of text messages and phone calls last night and am feeling quite upset and very anxious today.
We have a mortgage together and other debts and I am worried at where to even start.
I had a Marac meeting about 6 weeks ago and have a Dv housing officer and on a waiting list for and Idva support worker.
I just feel like my emotions are so high and overwhelmed and upset 30+ years we have been together and been married for (detail removed by moderator) years. Things were physically violent in the early days however it then was more controlling and aggressive gritting teeth and clenching fist and then 10 mins after all normal again. He is calling me a liar and that I am making him out to be a monster, what planet am I on, I am crazy, what medication am I taking and too much to mention 😢 I just know this is going to be so hard and I suffer with anxiety at the best of times, I am more concerned about being rehoused and finances and where to start, what happens next etc
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