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    • #30775
      Ariel
      Participant

      Please help. I don’t know what to do my ex is not letting one of my son’s write back to me with threats of cutting off his phone.he doesn’t know I know this. When I ring he’s right next to them almost telling them what to say. My oldest is barely talking to me because his dad is self destructing and my son is trying to look after him. His dad is telling him it’s my fault and he keeps trying to to get him to tell me to move back in. My ex is being nice to me but I know he’s doing all this behind the scenes.

    • #30777
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hey HUn

      My heart goes out to you. Its horrible when the ex use the kids to try and get us back, its good your son has warned u what his dad is doing, not sure how old yor son is otherwise is there any other way of communciating, maybe vis f b or whats app then get him to delete messages after. I would speak to the help line and see what support u can put in place for your son, i suggested counselling for my son but he refused it, the kids do feel trapped between parents, i just tried to offer my son as much emotional support as possible and part of that involved getting lots of outside agaencies involved to offer him support

    • #30780
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi, I’m not sure of your situation but is there anyway you can get your ex removed from the home using a non mol order. Please speak to a family solicitor. Can the kids live with you. Can you rent somewhere meantime? Do you have help from women’s aid. Can u buy a cheap phone for your son and speak to him lunchtime when he’s at school? I’ve had to take a step back from my grown up son. He became abusive I think because his dad was leaning on him. Dumping all his rubbish on my son now and not me. I can only hope that he sees what his father is doing but meantime I have to back off. Is there any access arranged through the courts? It’s torture when they use our children. They have no regard to the welfare of their own children. It’s shocking. Stay strong. Play the long game X

    • #30786
      Serenity
      Participant

      Hi There,

      I don’t know how old your kids are, but the NDPCC told me that the best way of minimising an abuser’s opportunity to abuse you via the children is to formalise contact and get an actual contact order, setting down times for contact, etc.

      He won’t be able to go against this without getting into trouble, and there will be no real reason for you to keep up much direct contact text with him, if at all.

      Xx

    • #30808
      Ariel
      Participant

      Hi thank you all for replying. I will take all your advice on board and if things don’t settle soon as it’s literally early days I’ll have to get outside services involved. I can’t talk to them through Facebook or whatsapp because even now he asks when I’m online who I’m talking to.

    • #30809
      Ariel
      Participant

      Sorry I ment I can’t talk to my children through fb or whatsapp.

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