Judged For Going No Contact

[Serenity]

KIP wrote a brilliant post today about the importance of going No Contact (NC).

It truly is the only way that I have managed to survive.

I am aware, though, that No Contact might be made more difficult for women who have been abused, because they are judged as being selfish/ petty/ dramatic/ not thinking of the children, etc. Especially where the abuser manages to pull off a positive public facade.

I have, for example, commented when people have criticised people who ignore their ex-partners. I have asked: but why should someone continue a relationship with someone who is abusive? Then, people have hesitated and replied that, of course, in the case of abuse, it is different. But why assume that someone’s choice to go NC is based upon unhealthy- rather than healthy- motives?

Others’ judgement is a huge stumbling block towards women becoming free. Especially as many women who have suffered abuse are lacking in confidence and looking for validation.

[KIP.]

How would you deal with a cruel bully? It seems because it’s a husband we should put up with it. Maybe the people criticising are prepared to accept abusive behaviour but we are not. It’s when the courts intervene that I’m horrified. Things are changing the more we refuse contact x

[Serenity]

Hi KIP,

It’s not always that people think people should tolerate abuse: it’s that they don’t understand the huge impact of, say, even mental abuse ( because they haven’t experienced it to the extent we have) or they believe the abuser’s public facade.

We need to stick to our guns and believe our own truth. Freedom lies the other side 🕊

[Author]

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