Just a little about me

[GrumbleBear]

Hi everyone,
Wasn’t sure if I should post this under my “hello” post in the welcome forum or here but here I am.

Just over a year ago, I disclosed some information about some childhood experiences to a person I trusted and she supported my to make a police report and an investigation is underway. My husband does not know anything about it. In doing some work to deal with this, I started to notice some issues within my marriage (which I can now see have been there from the very beginning) around coercion and control. I am in the process of putting some boundaries in place, which causes some issues. I have spoken to various agencies in attempts of support for the previous stuff and the current problems, none of which has been successful for various reasons. The person who had been my support was someone within my children’s school but she has recently taken a a step back, so perhaps it was all a bit much for her (understandably!). So I’m now trying to work out a way through all of this on my own. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone but i’m hoping it’s just an adjustment needed.

[nbumblebee]

Hey there. My story is similar to yours. I started by talking about past abuse for the first time ever then as i talked it was told to me that my husband is also not very nice.
My friend whom i first told has also taken a step back so sweetie you are in the right place and are not alone. Xxxxx

[GrumbleBear]

Thank you 💖 It’s a tough place to be as no-one else knows – except 1 other person at the school (I gave permission for the information to be shared as I knew it was a lot for someone to take on!) but i’m trying to only share information relevant to my children, to respect that decision!
I’ve been told the person involved with the childhood stuff will be contacted any day to be advised of the complaint (he may already have been) – waiting on that email is horrible.
I have a night out on (detail removed by moderator) which I’ve yet to tell my husband about as I don’t expect he’ll take it well. I spent years having no friends and not going out because of this so that’s one of the changes I’ve been making! x*x

[Lottieblue]

Hi there, we’ll done for coming on here, and I really hope it might help you to feel a little less alone.
You say you have spoken to “various agencies” …. Does this include your local women’s aid? Of course you don’t have to share detail as to why this didn’t work out, but feeling alone is so horrible… it would be great if we were able, in some way, to point you towards someone who can really support you x*x

[GrumbleBear]

Hello, yes I was assigned a support worker (we were meeting at the school) after I asked for a meeting for advice. During one of the first sessions, it was made it clear face to face support would stop if I decided to stay in my marriage and almost every session focused around me leaving. I haven’t made that decision yet and hadn’t made contact to get help to leave. Finding myself in this situation has been a bit of a shock and I’m still trying to work out what behaviour is okay and what isn’t (if that makes sense!) I started to dread the meetings so withdrew from the service.

[searchingforhope]

I think that the support should be provided for you to help you to get to that stage. So please don’t lose faith and maybe try contact the service again or something similar. There is no need to feel alone. Plenty here will have experienced some or all of your experience, everyone’s experience is different, but even still I think there is an understanding that is the same.
Please come here for support. You are not alone. Sending you strength

[Lottieblue]

Ok, I understand now.
I’m a little bit surprised that that was your support worker’s stance – I would have thought that they would support you through the process of coming to that decision rather than abandoning you because you weren’t there yet. It must have been a mammoth realisation, almost by accident, to suddenly see the similarities between the two relationships.
Keep coming back here… perhaps you will find the support you are after and maybe a bit further down the line you will go back to Womens Aid for the support they say they are able to give. X*x

[GrumbleBear]

I have emailed the family support worker at my girls school, who is doing some check-ins with my girls, we’re going to get an appointment in (detail removed by moderator).

I expect some issues over the holidays as i’m working  (detail removed by moderator) which means he’s left with the kids. Yet to say i’m out (detail removed by moderator) night!

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