Just a rant.

[Butterflyboo]

One of “those” days, haven’t had one for a while, forgotten how much they sting. Couple of years down the line and he’s still playing the victim, still being believed. He’s back to drawing my own family in, playing the victim good and proper. I know it will feel better in time and this is just a blip, but it hurts so much to the point I feel I have to keep away from my own family to protect my emotional wellbeing. They just can’t see what he’s doing and feel sorry for him. My own family! Yes he may have had some c****y things happen in his life, but most of them were of his own making and most of them have caused me problems in one way or another. They just can’t see that he is creating this “poor me” story to deflect from all the awful things he did.
He wasn’t thinking of me when he was battering me in front of my children and terrifying them, he wasn’t thinking of me when we were all ruled by his mood and sulks, and yet I’m being expected to now feel sorry for him because he’s depressed. He’s come off so much better out of this split than me financially, and yet no matter how many times I explain this, I’m still somehow the bad person in all of this.
I’ve lost my home, my belongings, my financial security, my dignity, my relationship with some of my children, and still the person who took all of that still tries to take more. I’ve given up hoping that other people (mutual friends, colleagues etc) will see the real him and stop believing his stories, but really thought that family would have got it by now. Clearly not 🙁

[KIP.]

I know how you feel. I’ve had to cut off contact with close family members. They have fallen for his victim persona but his mask will definitely slip and reveal the true monster one day. Meantime just play the long game. Stay consistent and refuse any and all contact with him. Tell your family that you do not want to hear his name mentioned. You’re not interested in what he’s upto. He’s not your responsibility and never will be. Funny my ex played the depression card too. He never had a diagnosis though unlike me who was diagnosed with depression for the majority of our marriage.

[Butterflyboo]

Thanks hun, this is just such a s***e journey isn’t it? Seems to be a common theme, the mental health card. I suspect he probably has depression (as do I as a result of what I’ve been through from him, still medicated but getting there!) but as someone pointed out here – he didn’t hit or verbally lash out at other people in his life which showed he *did / does* have some control over it. He just milks it to throw people off the scent of what the real issues are. Unfortunately very successfully 🙁
I kept hoping Karma would catch up with him and the truth would come out….but sadly not yet x

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