- This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 5 months ago by Anonymous.
23rd January 2016 at 12:26 pm #8175Confused123Participant
This feels like repeat of when I left my ex. Can’t be ask to eat , just feel dead , when I left ex forced myself to go on for kids, oh god now my son who in some sense was my second abuser as walk out and all I can do cry , trying to be strong as have to be there for youngest , don’t even think o cried like this when I left ex , just feels the same though when I drive I just cry and cry ,can’t be asked to study , can’t be ask to go gym , just want to eat and eat and forget all this pain , but can’t even be bothered to pick anything and put in my mouth, just want peace , last night actually had nightmare of how ex used to beat me up and how it was when I finally left sitting in a rent house with nothing , keep fighting and think what is the point have no energy left , no matter how much good mum try to be , mess that up to , lol was cr*p wife and cr*p mum ….
23rd January 2016 at 2:15 pm #8177Falling SkysParticipant
You’re not a c**p wife or mum, just made c**p decisions like me. We did wrong by judging these men by our standards.
My son is also my second abuser and it hurts more than when his father was abusing me.
All I can think is when I am on my own our relationship will improve.
It’s hard not let it get you down, don’t be too hard on yourself. You are a good person xx
23rd January 2016 at 3:06 pm #8179SavingmyselfParticipant
You are doing your very best please don’t be so hard on your self
Rest and relax and be good to your self
Your son is not worrying he will be out with his friends
Enjoy a little peace
Big hugs x*x
23rd January 2016 at 3:15 pm #8183KIP.Participant
Hi confused, broke my heart when my son moved out but turns out it was the best thing that could happen. For him and me. Take this time for yourself now. You deserve it. He will be back when he needs you. Mine pops in for diner and we are closer than ever. He seems to have more respect. Even though his idiot father is still trying to get to me through him❤️
23rd January 2016 at 3:34 pm #8185Confused123Participant
i know gotta stay positive some how, at moment just seem to be eating nonstop, i hate it cause im just emotional eating , will try and keep reading your posts to motivate myself,
falling skys – isnt horrible when your own kids become your abuser,your have to tell me how u cope
saving myself – your so right he prob is enjoying himself with his friends
kip – your ex sounds like mine, hope u ok yourself
23rd January 2016 at 4:32 pm #8191Falling SkysParticipant
I don’t always cope it rips me in two at times, but I can’t let it beat me.
I focus on the future when we have a better relationship.
Also I spend the time and money that I would have with my children doing things for me. As some said to me “learn to love you” which isn’t easy. I was blaming myself for everything everyone else did wrong and Im learning not to.
Also so what about over eating I’m a comfort eater too, once you feel better you will be going off to the gym and it will soon come off. If you have a membership maybe you could just do half an hour, mine has a spa you could go and chill.
Let them go and they will come back.
Hope you are feeling a little stronger.
23rd January 2016 at 8:23 pm #8204AnonymousInactive
Hey there confused. We all need to cry sometimes, it isn’t something to be ashamed of, especially with what you’ve gone through. As for sh*t wife and mum, I’ve been through all that and I found that now I’m free of dh, all the things I couldn’t do before, like washing up, I can now. Please try and look at how you’ve grown since you left and give yourself a massive pat on the back for surviving and moving on.
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