Just had the call i feel sick

[Anonymous]

Just had call from police they are not taking the investigation further . There is not enough evidence to send him down i feel sick! Police said it would be his word against mine . Whyyyy where is the justice for us women

[Healthyarchive]

I will message properly later, try not to let this affect you too much. ❤❤❤

[Anonymous]

Ok iam in bits

[godschild]

So sorry to hear this, from what I understand there is not much justice in this country for Women,I have no experience of this myself but others will have. Im not suprised it has knocked you sick they get away woith so much,sending you a hug takecarexxx

[KIP.]

It’s not your fault there is not enough evidence. This happened to me. It’s because it’s all done behind closed doors. They think they are so clever abusing us without witnesses. That’s why it’s important women like you and I report the abuse. That way there is more chance of corroboration. And abusers facing justice. Well done for reporting him. The more brave women step up, the more abusers go down. Be proud of yourself for getting this far ❤️

[Anonymous]

Police did say it will stay on file and if he goes for a job and he needs a cab check it will flag up .. I did email the detective one last resort it so prove he (detail removed by Moderator) it’s worth a try I don’t want to give up the fight

[Stillsmile]

I feel for you, you suffer but there’s no justice for him x

[Anonymous]

I want to peruse it!!! Do you know if I could get a solicitor on legal aid

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Iamfree, i’m so sorry this has happened, I can understand your rage and pain. I sent you a private message earlier.

This man will get his comeuppance as he goes through his life, this is guaranteed. (detail removed by Moderator) It might help you to put aside your rage and pain at the moment and think about him as a person, about his life. 1. Has he got a steady,good job where he has been for some time & is highly regarded by managers? 2. Is he in good health psychically and mentally without the need for drugs or alcohol to get by? 3. Is he good at managing money and has he accrued a pot of savings for himself? 4. Does he have friends and family who love him? 5. Does he have a secure home to call his own? 6. Does he have a history of respectful relationships with women, if these dont work out, do they go their separate ways with respect and no hard feelings? 7. Has he got a criminal record?. If you can answer these questions it might give you more insight into his value as a person to you.
There is no question about him getting his just deserts, its karma, what you sow you reap. He sows violence against women, theft from women, mental, financial and emotional control. He is a walking disaster waiting to happen. At the moment you have got to try to get through this pain & get through it you will. It takes time, being patient, looking after yourself and waiting. As the time goes on your thoughts will change to more calm and balanced. You will recognize how he will get his comeuppance and you will feel more relaxed in yourself. I promise you will. X*X

[Anonymous]

He was all about money .what if he makes out to be the abuser!! He was the one who told me to stop my medication and all u need is to be happy ..I’ve attracted these abusers and always walked out!!. Everything I said to police s the truth it’s not that the police don’t believe me there is lack of evidence to carry on with the case. (detail removed by Moderator) ..wat if he trys to blame me ..he sent me crazy he new how sensitive I was .against rapists and phedophiles .he used every weakness against me . I feel he’s won

[Healthyarchive]

What proof or evidence has he got against you?
I’ve always attracted abusive men and like you, walked away. With my last one it was much more difficult, I wasn’t certain why but I think it was because he took control in the end and was subtly abusive when we were together, leaving me with so many unanswered questions.
They are weak & pathetic, desperate to do anything to feel more at peace inside of themselves, so they will bully and intimidate the woman they are with. Pathetic and insecure at heart. I say it again, you will win with this. It takes time for you to heal. If you can follow all of the advice that you are getting and read up all that you can about abuse you WILL get through this. I have and I am. If I had not been so aware in the early stages I believe my ex would have conned me out of thousands. Like the women you see on telly conned by charmers.

[Anonymous]

None tbh apart from he got bruises on his arms and said it was me .. also his son seen me (detail removed by Moderator) but I laffed and put it down .. .. x

[Healthyarchive]

I dont’ think any allegations that he made about you would come to anything. X*X

[Anonymous]

You probably right hun . I would fight him anyway no matter what X

[Healthyarchive]

The best way of getting your revenge is to make your life happy, good, positive, have fun and be ok…..without him. This will drive him crazy. I would love to see my ex now, I think he thinks I am desperately sad, lonely, yearning and missing him. In contrast most of the time I am raising my glass toasting getting rid of him and am doing very nicely thank you very much. You can turn this around so that it can be the best thing that has ever happened to you Iamfree. It might be the catalyst you have needed to make some changes you needed to? I have learnt from lessons from my ex:
1. I like to think I can clearly recognize and act on red flags
2. I have made some female close friends I would never have met otherwise
3. I feel proud that I were not conned out of thousands due to my own shrewness
4. I am building on my independence and resilience which should pave the way for me to approach potential relationships from a better position in the future
5. I have learnt clearly what is good and what is not with men

[Ayanna]

So sorry.
Patriarchy is like that.

I hope you can have counselling. Even therapy is for abusers and not for the victims. (detail removed by Moderator)

[Suntree]

I have had the not enough damage or witness for the police to take the case. The one police officer even told me what he was going to tell him to say so it wouldn’t go to prosecution, just in case he admitted to doing it, like the last time.:(

So now he can play the victim and say that I falsely accused him….

I know the truth and the best thing I can do for me is to heal me. look after me and love and cherish me, funnily enough now I am filling my life with good things the bad things have very little room and don’t stay around as long as they use to.

[Anonymous]

I woke up this morning releaved the police did say it will stay on there system if things come up in the future with him .. so guess ive won! I feel a bit better .. just got in touch with victim support as i feel i could do with some support to get over the abuse and trauma caused . So this is my path to a bettet life. X

[Indiamalachite]

I am free, so glad you feel better – it stinks they won’t pursue it just because its one word against another but you’ve done a good thing standing up for yourself and reporting. Well done, and it will be on file so one day may help build a history that will help another woman. Definitely recommend getting therapy – it totally sorted out my messed up head xx

[Stillsmile]

Can I just ask, if they get arrested or brought in for a statement does it go on there record

[Healthyarchive]

Daer Iamfree, you have definitely won and he has definitely lost. This is because you have GOT RID! of a nasty man who was awful for you and once you have put the pieces back together, can move forward stronger and upwards in your life. He on the other hand CONTINUES TO BE a twisted abuser, he has not got therapy for his issues he will fail hugely in every area of his life. Its basic common sense. Well done Iamfree X*X

[Anonymous]

Thank you healthyarchive .. iam just so glad i have a loving family whos supporting me my sister in law is my rock… i have learned a big lesson iam too vunerable and i know why iam too b****y nice and intelligent and ge tried to rip that away from me .. nah its just made me more powerful and stronger. I just feel so sorry for his next victim she may not be so lycky .. anyway onwards and upwards for me xx

[Peaceful Pig]

Just think of the shock he’ll get one day when the evidence from his other victims stacks up with yours and it all comes crashing down on him. Let him think he’s won for now, his time will come. You’re being so strong and can only get stronger now x*x

[Anonymous]

I got my ex arrested he was on bail for quit a while . Till they built a case up .. i gave my everything to police! Its not that the police did not believe me there was just lack of evidence his word against mine .. but police did say it would stay on file!

[Author]

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