Just having a moan

[Confused123]

So even though i have blocked him, his voicemail still comes through to me a week late, so stupidly i listened to them instead of deleting them, can see he hasnt changed , still so much anger in him,i know its all mind games when he says will give me whatever i want , just have to speak with him, have told my solicitor to inform his i m not goin to communciate with him but if he wants to make a proposal then to make it via solicitors , otherwise to make no contact.

But what has really me is how he knows what i do , i have relocated and he still knows what i do. My first gut tells me his not lying as what he stated in voice mail is true, what furiurates more is how did he find out, i suspect my elder son may of told him so will ask him later, but its the fact that they can threaten you and say they are watching and for me to watch out . Part of me is saying ignore it as he wants a reaction, but then the other part of me is thinking do i tell police to warn him not to contact me , but then he may think i am scared and scare me more When his under the influence of toxication its hard to work out if his just saying it to wind me up or telling me the truth in anger. This is such a messed up family who would rather get some one to hurt me then do themselves, i just really thought they were just going to argue in courts with me and then leave me alone, clearly not, or am i just getting worked up and thinking the worst scenario …….any thoughts and guidance ladies

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi there,

If he is contacting you and leaving you threatening voicemails saying he knows what you do, where you are and is watching you, I’d definitely report that to the police because it’s stalking and harassment. I reported my ex as he kept contacting me and he was issued with a warning. Thankfully it worked and I haven’t heard from him since. I too was worried about repercussions from him but the police won’t speak to him unless you ask them to or unless they think there is a risk of harm to yourself or a child, they can just log it for now.

In the end the police are there to protect you and it’s usually safer to have them informed than not if you are getting harassed and stalked. The police told me that usually it puts an end to it because most men don’t want criminal records and they tend to listen to he police unless they are particularly determined abusers. It also builds up a record of his behaviour which is useful if you are going to court etc.

Is it possible to change your number? I changed mine and it really is a relief to know he doesn’t have it anymore, makes you feel a bit calmer and more in control.

And definitely don’t respond to anything he says or does, just keep a record of all calls and record any voicemails then log it with the police.

[Lisa]

Hi Confused,

I just wanted to show you some support and to say yes, please do phone the Police and report the content of his messages. I think it is significant and important and it could help you to get an injunction out against him. If you have asked him not to contact you and he is continuing to do it the Police can, and should issue him with a warning. Please also speak to your local Women’s Aid group about it too.

We are all here for you. Please speak to the Police and post to let us know how you get on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

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