Just need to share

[Bananaboat]

Just need to get this out of my head and you lovelies will understand. My ex has become more and more unreliable and lets our shared child down regularly (no surprise there), both with visits and money.

Recently he asked for my help with some paperwork and I reluctantly agreed as it will give him some money, and in turn our child. During this process I was surprised at how much he’d earned and wasted whilst not supporting our child (again no big surprise there with abusers) but…this is where I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, he’s been spending hundreds of pounds on sex toys. Maybe I’m naive but some pretty torture type ones too – weird pipes down your urine tube?! How can you put that above providing for your child. These individuals are wired so differently it’s scary/hilarious. I’m flipping between angry and laughing. Hope this story makes you smile 🙂

[Footballfan1]

Hi Bananaboat,

It’s good to talk these things through.
Perhaps he wanted you to see the sex toy purchases and that’s why he asked you to help?

It is really irresponsible of him to neglect his child in this way!!
You are right, they are wired so differently and this did make me laugh!
Xx

[Bananaboat]

Yeah this did cross my mind, but then again the items themselves make me think not. Honestly the sheer volume and erm let’s call it ‘range’ has made me chuckle, the money is the bit making me angry. Like you say, how irresponsible. Glad I could share the chuckles and well…every day is a learning day haha xx

[Twisted Sister]

eeeeuw! He definitely wanted you to see this, and its highly inappropriate for an ex to be looking at that level of intimate stuff.

Probably best if you do maintenance through official channels so they can see his income and properly assess it. What he has to spend on whatever he fancies will come after money has been deducted so he has whats left to spend how he wants, and you don’t need to know what it is!

warmest wishes

ts

[Bananaboat]

Good advice TS but he’s self employed so cms wouldn’t be the best option. Luckily I earn well so don’t rely on his money but it’s frustrating their kids don’t come first. Eeew is a perfect reaction, that made me laugh. It’s very odd to want an ex to see this stuff and I also wondered if it’s another addiction to add to the drink & drugs. Thanks ladies, needed this x

[Twisted Sister]

I don’t understand what better option there would be than CMS. Do you mean he’s hiding money? If so thats a solicitor.

He owes financial support to his child, and you are struggling financially. This is his responsibility. Getting something regularly might be a lot better than the little bits you get unreliably, and it means you wouldn’t have to have contact with him right?

Hope you enjoy your bank hol together.

warmest wishes

ts

[Hereforhelp]

Holy s**t Bananaboat .. I was laughing and angry for you… then laughed again as it is so bizarre..why he would want you to see his erm.. varied range of pipe cleaners or whatever 🤣 the lows they stoop to never cease to amaze me.. they are not wired right…
HFH ❤️

[Bananaboat]

Haha this made me laugh, you’re so right. Mental images of pipes, plugs and god knows what (each to their own, not judging ppl who enjoy them!!) are a novel and ineffective form of hoovering I’ve not come across before. Boy, you have to laugh where you can in this world of abuse or you’ll cry, and we’ve all done quite enough of that over these people x

[Author]

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