Just need to talk

[Atsah]

I have really struggled today.i have just started counselling and have a session tomo.she has asked me to do a timeline of the worst of the abuse i have put it off until today.she also wants to discuss my PTSD symptoms i know this has got to be done and i need to go through it all but it was so much harder than i thought to write it down and there is (detail removed by Moderator) years of bad times.i just get so upset with what my children had to go through and i wish i had been strong enough to stop it.now i am really anxious about tomo.i do want this but i also just want to put it all away again.thinking of u all x

[Texas]

How about doing just a little bit at a time? Might not be so overwhelming then.

[Atsah]

Yes thanks, I am trying to but there are (detail removed by Moderator) years of bad times to sort through i start writing one thing then that triggers something else buf you are right i need to concentrate on few things rather than trying to deal with it all at once.

[Texas]

You can do it, you’ve got this.

[Atsah]

Thanks for ypur support.i really appreciate it.

[Marmalade]

Hi, I really relate to this. I had trauma counselling which involved going back into the incidents. I also found it v hard as it was totally triggering. With PTSD, the triggering means reliving the incident, far more than a memory, so you actually relive the experience. Analysing incidents and removing fixed thoughts about them is part of the therapy, but make sure you go at a pace you are comfortable with. It is OK to tell the therapist that you are uncomfortable and need to change the focus. A time line seems like an overload of incidents.
Maybe try it in bitesize chunks. Good luck.

[Atsah]

Thanks all.i had 2nd session it was so hard reliving the incidents.i had to do it at work aswell.therapist did say we will do it a little bit at a time as it was so painful.i was in bits afterwards a work friend came to sit with me for a bit afterwards so i could try and relax again.i know i have got to do it but it’s really hard as you all know.i had a long work meeting today on teams and people where firing questions at me i thought my head was going to explode.i keep forgeting my words with the anxiety and just felt i made a complete idiot of myself.

[Texas]

Hey, well done for what you have achieved. You should be really proud of yourself 👏

Counselling can be mentally and emotionally tiring, so perhaps take that day or half day off work to recover. It’s self care, and you deserve that ❤️

[Atsah]

Thanks.you are very kind x

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