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If anyone is online I’d appreciate some advice. I’ve called the helpline and left a message. He has emailed a suicide note to his solicitor, me and his mother blaming me for wanting to end his life. The email says I’m not a fit mother – I have mental health problems which our GP ‘can and will confirm’ and that I’m not to be trusted. He’s also said I’m being bankrolled by my new man (I don’t have one).
What do I do?
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If he really wanted to commit suicide he wouldn’t have told everyone. Leave it to his family and solicitor to deal with, it is a classic control technique. In the unlikely event that he really is contemplating suicide his family can take responsibility to notifying health professionals who can decide whether to intervene, you must not take this upon yourself.
The best thing you can do is block his emails, nothing good will ever be written in them.
Can any of us on this forum say we haven’t got mental health problems after experiencing abuse, this won’t affect your role as a mother and no court is going to give custody to a man threatening suicide, if that is what you are worried about. He’s just throwing the whole bag of last ditch manipulating techniques at you. This shows you have done amazingly well to move on from him. Pat yourself on the back and get yourself some sleep, he’ll still be there in the morning composing another email, don’t read it.
He is an adult, he is not your responsibility. -
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Hi hun
I agree with ladies, its just another way to make u feel bad or guilty, he has control of his life and its his choice if he chooses to end his life. Thats his opinion that he thinks you are mental, doesnt mean its true, we could say a lot of what we think of them too but we are too busy on focusing on reecovering ourselves, block his no so he cant text or email you.Ibet you he will stillbe alive this morning, sorry if that sounds harsh
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Hi jsscollie
So sorry you are going through this-you have enough to cope with without his manipulation.
If he is feeling real turmoil he would probably not be using up all that energy online to attack you.As well as this
abuse,you now have it in writing as an e-mail to show a solicitor and others.This is his weakness and it will bring him down while you are busy surviving,taking the mature way.
Even if he does feel suicidal,his health is his responsibility not yours.There are helplines available for him to contact day or night.
He is using his mental health to try and control you and you dont need more abuse.Can you maybe let your doctor know what is happening or another health worker so the info can exist as evidence of further abuse?
I hope you get the call from the helpline soon.
Take care
Jupiter -
Thanks all. I’ve booked an appointment with my GP and will take the email with me. I was so naive to think that i’d solved my problems by leaving this creature. It’s so much better than living with him but it’s still feeling like he’s punishing me at the moment. The helpline called back last night and were really helpful too.
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Hi
Yes I had very similar from my ex too I think it’s last Ditch attempt to be in control
My ex rang my Dr and said I was at verge of breakdown and my work to tell them I wasn’t fit to be at work and do my job safely. Think said I shld not be trusted either! They really are sick but understand how ur left feeling
Takes a lot to stay strong after so many years of abuse, control and manipulation. Try to tell myself my ex is weak and I am better. It’s taken lots of years to get here. Sometimes I find little things tip me over and horrid thoughts come rushing back. Sure so many of u have felt that too
I came off of antidepressants after fleeing from my ex and migraines a thing of past
Together we can be stronger
Lots of best wishes xx
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