Just want to live my life.

[Eve1]

I’ve just had a week of trying 10mg of my antidepressant instead of the slightly higher dose I’ve been on and today I’m wondering if it’s bit the right moment. I’ve had a few days of running around doing things for people, some of it enjoyable, then yesterday I had a very late night partly caused by a but if annoying running around, and I was drinking a lot of caffeine. And today I feel wiped out. At least I’m on my own.

I feel like I wanted to concentrate on 3 things:
Making sure my daughter is as well as she can be
Finding a job
Finding sonewhere much cheaper to tent.

I don’t want to do our be involved in anything else!
Is this unrealistic?

I’m probably also triggered by having to deal worth ex husband, who because I had made a miscalculation about the weekend he sees our daughter, accused me of ‘ having a plan’ presumably against him. No, I just give as little thought as possible to him. Why can’t they grow up?
XX

[Relieved]

Hi Eve, I have spent a large part of my life on and off antidepressants so can sympathise, you are never sure whether it’s the right time to come off them but the only way really is to try. It sounds like you have been doing quite well and are maybe just having a blip today. Can I add one other thing to your list to concentrate on – self care. Take time out to look after yourself, do little things just for you, whether it’s have a bath, put your feet up with a book or magazine, do your nails, anything that gives you a bit of ‘me’ time

My kids are old enough to sort out when they see their father themselves(luckily he doesn’t bother much) but they show me the texts he sends them and he quite often has a dig at me in them – he only wants to see them when it suits him(sometimes at short notice) and if they aren’t instantly available he assumes it’s because I’m saying no. Yes, wish they would grow up but sadly they probably never will!

Hope things improve for you xx

[Eve1]

Thank yoy. Yes I hope I’ll feel a bit better soon and carry on on the dose I’m on for a bit.

xx

[lover of no contact]

Hi Eve,

No its not unrealistic to not want to be involved in anything other than what needs to be minded and sorted in your life. That’s a lot of responsibilities at the moment for you…

Supporting your daughter who needs a lot of support at the moment.
Looking for a new job and and a new place to rent.

These are your priorities as you say. These will take a lot of time and energy and quite rightly so, they are the things to be attended to first.

After that your self-care is essential as Relieved says, (to aid your healing ), so your time and energy will need to go to rest, relaxation, nails, baths, walks in nature (or other exercise).

Then your time and energy is needed for your clothes washing, food shopping, cooking, cleaning, gardening, household/clothes shopping.

You also need time to just be as you are grieving the loss of your mum.

You also need time to post on here read the posts to be able to deal with your ex’s and your dad’s behaviour.

If after that you have some time to do things for other people well great but I know for me I have to be ruthless about putting my needs and responsibilities first before I can take on other peoples’ things that need doing.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am a single mum. I’m trying to support my children emotionally and financially. That takes time. I’m also recovering from a life-time of being abused, through no fault of my own, so I need to work on my healing by spending time on this Forum plus lots of self-care.

I have to mind myself first, put on my own oxygen mask first (as we are told on the plane) or else I’ll be no good to anyone else and I have no one to pick up the pieces if I don’t stay well and rested.

[Eve1]

Thanks LONC, that’s so helpful.

xx

[Author]

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