Just when I thought I could breath

[reborn]

I wish this was positive and it has been for quite a few years. I suffered years of financial, psychological, physical and emotional abuse. I went to the depths of despair and I got rid of him. So for years it’s been quiet until (detail removed by moderator) the final insult came in the post. I am about to loose my home unless I pay his debt. His aim is to make my life unbearable from a distance I am not sure that he will ever stop. So now I am in the same predicament of over a life time ago. I know he will be laughing and seeking revenge to maximise my discomfort. My crime ……was getting rid of him. Now I need to seek legal advice but can’t seem to find the right advice. I know I am going to have to go to court to fight for my house, been there before but this is it.
I am totally alone with no friends no family and generally feeling like the world has come to an end. Not even sure if I can post half of this information on here. What makes me mad is that years ago there was no law against coercive control . He should have gone to jail for his crimes against me. His actions have ruined my financial future and even limits me to certain occupations. Mean while he walks free and avoids any responsibility in life. His aim is to persecute me albeit from a distance.

Been through so much trauma in my life and I am back at rock bottom. Why Why me ? I want to live a peaceful life.I feel like I can’t do this any more. How can be do these bad things to me and not face any consequences ? I know he feels he is entitled to behave the way he does. Seriously I am done.

[HeasvHeart]

Hey reborn
Unless it’s a joint debt or you jointly own the property, it’s nothing to do with you.
Go and speak to the CAB, they will know everything and advise you for free.

[Lisa]

Hi Reborn,

I am so sorry to read about your situation. Please do try to phone the helpline, they will help to reassure you and can support you through this stressful time. Rights of Women will also be helpful to you, http://www.row.org.uk. At the moment it is totally normal to be feeling overwhelmed but once you find out where you stand and your options you will hopefully feel reassured and know that you will not loose your house. You have done so well and are clearly an incredibly strong woman so just take a deep breath and phone the helpline and Rights of Women as soon as you can. The CAB will also be helpful as will the National Debtline, http://www.nationaldebtline.org just try to ensure that you make sure any of these debts are in the context of domestic abuse and financial abuse that he subjected you to.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[reborn]

Thank you, unfortunately he secured it on the property before the divorce. He left me in thousands and thousands of pounds worth of debt. It’s nearly all paid and now this. I can’t get the house in my name until the his debt is paid off. His creditors are forcing sale.It’s going to cost me again for legal advice and then if they agree in court I will have to take his debt on.
He knows this and will pride himself on his ability to make my life unbearable. In fact he thinks he is superior in his knowledge of the law. I am freaking out because I have had enough of being in emotional turmoil because of him.
I need a good solicitor who deals in debt management . I could just sit and cry for hours.

[HeasvHeart]

I can totally relate to how unbearable and scary this feels.
The CAB give free advice and so do lots of other places so hopefully you can get some help without it costing you much or anything.
Xx

[Author]

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