Just when it was all going so well..

[HunkyDory]

He must know I’m in a good place. Because he’s bought me crashing down again. When I got out of my first EMDR session I had missed calls from a number in his country. I ignored them. Now I’ve had two missed calls from his family member and texts (from him using family members phone) demanding money.

I still “owe” him (detail removed by moderator). I know his life is going to be tough. He probably has no money. How is he going to eat? Is it stupid of me to worry about him like this? I’m thinking of sending some (detail removed by moderator) and knock it off the balance just to shut him up and know he’s going to be ok. After the final payment next (detail removed by moderator) I’m done.

It’s hard for me to change my number, it’s a work one I’ve had for decades and scores of people use it to contact me.

I’m off on a work trip to a new country. I was excited now I’m just miserable again.

Do I send some money to get some peace – and peace of mind?

Thank you ladies xx

[HopeLifeJoy]

I am sorry he showed his ugly head into your life again.
You are the one holding the reins here honey so you decide.
Whatever makes you feel better.
You can either stick strictly to your agreement and pay him next (detail removed by moderator).

Or if it makes you feel better and you can afford it and still spend amply on yourself this Christmas, then pay him the amount which would shut him up until your final payment next (detail removed by moderator).

Block every new numbers he’s calling from. Add them to you blocked contact list. It will get more difficult and annoying for him to contact you in the future.

Breathe in deeply and do not let him ruin your business trip. Keep your head held high. You are in charge and he has no say into your life anymore.
Stay strong honey 💪

[KIP.]

Giving him money won’t make him go away. I wouldn’t pay him unless he has a legally binding agreement. I’d change my number. It’s easy and someone in the phone shop can show you how easy it is to move your contacts and text them all your new number. You need to keep blocking him at every turn. You can’t have trauma destabilise your therapy. You owe him nothing and any contact at all is toxic.

[HunkyDory]

Thank you both. Feel calmer now I’m away from home. I will block all the numbers HLJ, I just deleted them in a hurry but will do next time. I’ll see how I go this week, see where my head’s at. The last thing I want to do is jeopardise this therapy KIP XX

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