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    • #12506

      Had a night of little sleep last night. Began to think of how I felt sometimes my relationship with my ex was like father and disobedient teenager. Like he would ask me to do stuff and I would deliberately do the opposite knowing he wouldn’t like it. Did anyone else feel like this? E.g he asked me once to wait till he came out a shop so we could smoke together so I decided to smoke my cigarette while he was in the shop as an act of defiance. (Well I had just gotten fed up of being told what to do probably and thought sod it) Like I predicted he wasn’t happy and said “you never do what I ask” and I said you’re not my dad but that’s what it was like. This is a bad explanation but I know what I mean. That sort of stuff happened all the time.

    • #12508

      I know what you mean. Over the decades Ive had abuse at times I have dug my heels in at times or deliberately done something behind his back.

      I think you have to, to survive this, I know some situations are so bad and the victim is too afraid of physical abuse and they have to tow the line, but I have developed a fighting attitude as well.

      I have felt at times that he thinks he is my Parent the way he speaks to me , sometimes im despaired and desperate but other times I have felt like you.

    • #12528

      These abusers try to dismantle our choice, our independence and our confidence, brick by brick.

      They wish to be like the Critical Parent and for us to be like the Child.

      But as history shows, where there is a dictatorship, there always follows an uprising!

      I think our abusers can keep us trapped,suppressed, fearful and dependent fir so long, before we start to resent their selfish and pathetic bullying.

      We start to rebelling and try to grab our independence again.

      Many will fear this newfound independence of ours, and will make a quick exit ( like mine).

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