Keep wanting to go back

[WanderingWarrior]

Hi everyone,
I have recently left my abusive partner. I was only with him (detail removed by moderator) months but I lived with him from the start and I felt very close to him. I knew it wasn’t right, there were a lot of red flags, and I was starting to feel anxious and depressed because of the way that I was being treated. Now I’m living back with my family and am safe. But I am finding it so hard not to message him and a big part of me wants to go back. All my family and friends advise against it but I’m just finding everything so hard, I’m missing him like crazy and I do still love him.
I usually would get out with friends and do what I enjoy to get through a break up but I currently cannot do that under covid-19 restrictions 🙁
So what I would like to ask is, does anyone have any advice on how I can get past these feelings and stay on track?

[KIP.]

Start by writing down every piece of abuse and how it made you feel. Start at the beginning. Know that loving him will not stop him abusing you and hurting you again. I’d also tell those closest to you the terrible things he did to you. In a way that is burning the bridges so you can’t go back over. You don’t miss him, you miss the nice him but sadly the nice him is fake. As humans we crave what is normal to us even if that’s a dysfunctional abusive relationship. It’s going to take time and zero contact to break this addiction because that’s what it will feel like. He Wears a mask just to hook you back in time and time again. He has shown you his true colours, believe him x

[WanderingWarrior]

Thank you. I will try writing stuff down. I do try to remind myself of why I left and I know it makes sense but of course now I’m not with him my brain just goes to thinking of the good times 🙁

[Anonymous]

I too feel just like this, took the plunge as i felt so fed up now im all alone no one to visit cant go out now im wondering if i made the right choice. Is being with him better than being alone. Keep wanting to go back want him to change like he promises. Wish i felt comfort in being alone but i dont feeling very confused as this has become my norm x

[Iwantmeback]

Hi ladies, Rummonkey, YES being alone is much better than living with an abuser,100%.
Wanderingwarrior, what a brilliant name💪💪 I agree with kip, write everything down, living with abuse will never get better. These people will never see the error of their ways.oh they’ll say anything to convince you, but its all bulls..t. If you’re free stay free.
IWMB

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