Lactose intolerance

[Alicenotichains]

I am so annoyed- my eldest has recently been diagnosed with lactose intolerance by the GP- this has been communicated to my ex and his parents. I have told ex’s parents who have told him about the lactose intolerance -daughter says they don’t believe me and keep giving her cheese when she sees them. She comes home after seeing them and has diarrhoea. She is a bit scared of speaking up when she is there and they get cross if she doesn’t eat all the food. I don’t like havingby contact with any of them as they get abusive- but I want to tell them they are making her Ill- I know I will walk into a load of abuse- it’s like they are trying to bait me. It’s horrible.

[danicali]

you can try and educate them a bit, perhaps by giving them written information about diet for those with lactose intolerance (a diet sheet of what is OK to eat and what isn’t), to rule out them just being too thick to understand what it is… 🙁

saying that, they probably do know she’s not supposed to eat cheese (do they really want to deal with her having diarrhea?), and yes, you are right, it’s probably a bait that shows total disregard for the little girl’s welfare however there is not much you can do… if you tell a court “they make her eat cheese” – try to think about how a panel of magistrates would react

when you deal with people like this, you have to swallow (no pun intended) a lot, as does your child. is it fair? no. is it wrong? entirely. but we don’t have much choice as the system is set up to allow for these types of people to do what they do (enabling) and simply get away with it x

[Suntree]

Hi

I would get a copy of the GP’s letter, keep one for yourself and make sure they get the other one (as in make sure you have proof of this).
Then I would keep a diary of every time the give your daughter lactose.
Start teaching your daughter about lactose intolerance and how it affects her, its not just diarrhea, its things like headaches, tiredness, heavy limbs and can help set the system up for other allergic reactions which can be life threatening.
When they have the letter, you are going to have to help your daughter with dealing with responses to people not believing intolerance.
From saying not thank you it gives me a squidgy bum, to it makes me feel ill.

Mine had food given to them as a weapon to use against me. When they said no they didn’t give but then they turned it into oh its only a little bit, and the adults would eat something like a cheese burger and say “this is so nice” and then buy the kids one to even if they didn’t ask for it. If your hungry you will eat. They would be kept hungry so they would eat bit of it 🙁

What would then happen is it would be said that when the kids ate lactose, cheese etc in their care they saw no issues or problems. It must be Mum making it all up and brainwashing the kids into having a problem they don’t have.

This is why I say keep a diary and make sure you can prove they had a copy of the diagnoses from your GP.

[Alicenotichains]

Thank you ladies. Any attempt to undermine me is gladly seized upon by my ex and his family. They don’t believe anything I say. They are not stupid but they are arrogant. (detail removed by moderator)
I have not reacted as I have learnt that you never win against these people but will be going back to the GP to get some proper evidence and to log the fact that he gives her lactose- good advice.
I have learnt not to react when provoked but it takes a lot of self control and energy.

[Serenity]

How awful if your ex to use your child as a weapon like that, and to jeopardise her health. These abusers simply don’t care about anything but gaining power for themselves.

I would get a GP letter as proof and give them a copy, and alert the GP to the situation. The GP may even be able to write them a letter emphasising the importance of diet, or make contact with them by phone.

I would make sure that the right people are told and it’s logged, as if this is to be a long term health issue for your child then her health could suffer due to their abuse. Her health situation can be monitored, and if you’ve done all the right things, it will be your ex who is going to look negligent and abusive.

Abusers are cowards under it all. He’s doing these things because he doesn’t imagine that you will get the professionals on board. You don’t need to contact him directly- go through the right professional channels. x

[Author]

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