- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 5 months ago by
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Last night he woke me up again wanting sex and I said no I am tired. He then said oh come on baby if you love me you will and I said I don’t! I was so annoyed with him treating me like he does.
He didn’t say a word and slept on the sofa and when I got up he just muttered I am going out after work pulling. I didn’t say anything.
I am scared of what he might do now.
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He has no right to make you feel afraid, and I am sure everyone on the forum who reads this will be appalled at how you have been treated. You should not be subjected to intimidation and he is clearly using aggression and coercive control. Seek legal advice/police advice asap. There is help out there, just know that you need to protect yourself and should not be mistreated by any one.
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Yeah as Cecile said, it’s an appalling way to be treated. I know how it feels. Mine is the same. I read your other post saying you are thinking about leaving (detail removed by moderator). I think we are in a very similar stage.
Does your sister know how he behaves?
I understand how scared you must be, and I wish I had an answer to that but I don’t. I’m exactly the same. If helps know I am thinking of you and I am here if you wanna chat. I hope you find the strength you need -
In the next 2 weeks I want to leave. I have the kids schools to sort out, money etc. I am in contact with my sister and she said we are always welcome to hers.
Only problem I have is the kids. They will say something to him if I tell them.
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dont tell the kids until your ready and out. get all the documents you need together and all the necessary stuff together. id get in touch with the help line. just dont let him know your going as you could be in danger. you have the support off your sister everything will fall into place from then. get yourself out off the situation quietly and safely keep your cards close to your chest. youll get the housing and school sorted. custody can take a long time to go through and if hes abusive you dont have to have direct contact with him. once you get away get someone else to deal with him via text or even a lawyer xx
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Yeah it does hurt alot. Its deliberate in his part though, if telling you that he would harm himself, or you, or one of your kids was what “worked” to keep you stuck he would be saying that instead. Plus the thought probably boosts his ego if he is anything like my “partner”.
Its alot to come to terms with, alot of hurt and regret how did I let it get this bad etc.
If he does end up with a replacement, chances are she will be asking herself the same questions in the future, and by then you will just be glad it’s not you asking those questions.
Stay safe, I’m glad you have your sister.
Listen to people on here they are full of good advice about safety planning etc
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